Sai, You never let me hate anyone

Sairam friends,

Today being Ram Navami, I went to Sai mandhir in the afternoon as I love serving water and food during Annadhan in the wedding hall being the temple. I truly love serving water. I had a very painful memory of october 24th 2012, during Saibaba’s 94th Maha Samadhi day as its a very special day for me. I love serving water, carrying stuff, running to serve rice.This time i found serving food is also like a meditation if we can practice our keep chanting Gods name.

I kept chanting “Sai Raja Matangi” all the while serving food and water to devotees. Few were complaining that they stood in a long que for 2 hours to have this prasad.

There’s a huge Samadhi Mandhir portrait of shirdi sai baba in this wedding hall to whom i kept praying

“Baba, why all this happened to me? How much I believed your words will come true.  please do your leela…”

Finally, at 4 all the guys who did seva had our food and I went to Dwarakamai. I did meditation sitting near the Tulasi plant remembering Sai , Lord Rama and Matangi Devi.

Palki of Saibaba:

We all gathered to carry Palki. This time there were many guys to carry Palki. Sai was beautiful too. I continued to chant SaiRam Raja Matangi all the while.  I was neither sad nor happy. I smiled and laughed but deep inside, I was speaking to Sai. There days, there are many guys who come for Seva in temple. I am close to very few but mostly I prefer keeping away and being on my own. To be honest, If someone truly serves Sai, I make it a point to at least appreciate him.

There is this guy( Don’t wana say name) whom I really hate as he shows off too much as if he is doing seva. I don’t like people who has such ego and also treat devotees harshly. He was good while carrying palki but when some women tried to touch the palki, he was shouting “Don’t touch..Its all made of this and that”.

The other guy near me too was managing well but he too was hurting a devotee who was carrying the palki. I smiled to him and said “Please don’t”…..I could not say beyond this because though one serves Saibaba, their ego and their nature remains the same.

We have to accept people for what they are.

At around 8 o clock , few guys were dancing to the tune of drums and girls too were dancing near Baba. ( Not really girls. There was just one girl dancing with devotion. All others were  aunties..Paaties …he he).  The guy whom I hate pulled me to join me in dancing. I felt shy and said “Its ok. I better watch’. He forced me. So i went near him and danced.

You see, I have a habit of beating someone’s back if they are close to me. Kind of patting affectionately but it won’t be a pat, I really beat hard to extent that they have pain.
Since this guy who called me to dance, I tried to dance but without my knowledge my hand was beating his back 4-5 times.

He..he… Semma Adi…It was as if I am beating him for showing off too much but honestly I beat him as that was the way i danced. He also didn’t bothered my beats as he was too keen in dancing.

While the palki festival was still going on and many guys were dancing, I went and told my friend Prem ” Avan Dance panna kooptaan, nalla saathu saathunu mudhugula saathiten” . ( That guy called me to dance, i beat him nicely while dancing) We were laughing like anything.

Then everything got over and devotees went inside the main hall for Night Aarti. I usually sit in Dwarakamai during Aarti. I went near the shop when I noticed this guy I hate was vomiting. I could not stop myself caring for him and asked what happened. He said “Since I was dancing for over an hour, I have pain in stomach and vomiting”.

I felt pity for him. Since he can’t drink water which is used to wash legs, I ran to get a pot of water and a glass. I want him to feel positive and told him, Its good to vomit “All the bad things in your life will go off”. Then I took 4-5 glasses of water from the pot and gave him.

I don’t know why I did this to some one I hate for months together Baba. Probably Sai knows I don’t really hate anyone to hate him. Deep inside we all have concern and care for everyone around us.

A quote from princess Diana:

I admire Princess Diana so much and cried a lot when she passed away. Diana was so kind that she never behaved like a typical princess would. Diana wasn’t afraid to touch or even hug kids or adults who had AIDS or were HIV-positive. On the other hand,the Queen, the Queen’s sister, and the queen’s niece always wore gloves when merely shaking hands. “Everyone needs hugs” Diana once said. Diana, Princess of Wales, was the first royal family member to openly work with and support AIDS victims.

When discussing about how she freely hugs and touches AIDS patients and people who are HIV-positive Diana stated

“I touch people, I think everyone needs that”

This quotes from princess Diana has always found a place in my heart. I touched this guy whom I hate and gave him water to drink. I told him that he will be fine. When i went back to keep the water pot, one of my friend pulled me inside the main hall and made me sit near the priest. I looked at Sai and wondered what Sai made me do few minutes back.

May be Sai doesn’t want me to hate anyone.

May be Sai knew I really can’t hate anyone though on the surface, It seems like I have my priorities in making friends.

Sai, You never let me hate anyone.

In the past 15 years, My parents never once asked me to bring prasad from Nagasai mandhir. I also take it rarely for them as they would have already had their dinner. My Amma called me and said she likes to have kesari and asked me to bring. I said if they give it as prasad, I shall.  I only got sevai as prasad and went home too late. Parents already were sleeping by then. So i just asked them to have a pinch of the prasad.

I tried to sleep but could not. I woke up at 2.20 and told all that happened in Temple. She was having stomach ache. So she simply listened to me. I told her, I am going to check mails and came and wrote this article friends. Parents are worried why I am not sleeping well these days but if i sleep, I think about past. I feel its better to write something.

I feel sleepy now but don’t know if i would sleep when i go to bed.

My days on passing like this baba.

I am not able to forget…….

Please show me a way Sai..

Anyway, I hope Sai made me write something good. Sai loves it when we are kind even to our enemies or even if we don’t like someone. Sai has his own ways to bring out the love in us even to people who harm us.

Sai, What you cannot do?

Love,

Venkat

Little Servant of Shirdi Sai baba