Doubts in relationship – Being faithful to your husband or wife and Sai’s guidance

Sairam friends,

Last night, I went home from Temple. My Amma made small cute foot print of Krishna in the floor as a sign of Krishna’s arrival to our house. Amma said, I was not able to bend and do it but desired to do it as usual and kept remembering you all the time while doing Pooja.

I walked inside my room where the Krishna’s foot print took me and saw Amma did pooja with a Valampuri Sangu  kept over rice on a Banana leaf which I bought in Tiruchandur Murugan Temple a year back.

My friend at work gave me  a little Shirdi Sai Baba statue as one of his neighbor has been to Shirdi. I was surprised to see Sai has come on Gokulashtami.All the day, I kept the little Sai statue near my computer and once in a while looked at him. I told my friends this is why, I never keep Sai photos or statues in my work place as I feel like looking at Sai and it doesn’t sound good at office.

I took the little Sai home as Little Krishna and kept in the place where Amma did Pooja.  I listened to the 1008 holy names of Sri Krishna – Krishna Sahasranama though it was late night and then went to sleep.

This morning I had a beautiful dream.

Dream of Shiv Ling

We all go to a very beautiful Shiva Temple. I see Father of two girls and myself going into the temple and doing prayers. One of the girl was small and she keeps playing around in the temple. The priests give a very sacred book to the Father of the girls. Then I see myself standing in front of a Shiva Lingam – Shiv Ling was so beautiful and sacred and I can still remember the presence of God in the place.

I woke up and felt may be Lord Shiva was reminding me that even when I pray Krishna and write about my devotion on Krishna, he is always in me and keeps remembering me.

Doubts in relationship

“Doubts” in Indian context is very different from western context but “Doubting” someone you love and care is a universal issue. In India, married women have few unwritten rules as in she’s not supposed to speak too much to other men, she’s not supposed to go alone with other men etc. I am not in favor of it but when such situation arises, one must handle the situation carefully.

Probably our society has crossed the above stage but mentality won’t change. Relationships are getting more and more complicated these days. There are couples who doubt on each other even in America. There are misunderstanding and domestic violence happening in every part of the world. Violence to me is not just the physical hurt but also the mental hurt.

I can’t keep supporting women. Though Majority of our women are leading a very pure life, some really are not and they must try to follow good path that’s good for their family and children.

Some wives don’t doubt when their Husband speaks with other women or shows any sign of being close to others. There are couples who totally trust their partner and I appreciate it. At the same time too much trust might also be dangerous.

We all are subject to getting attracted to any one at any time and its wrong. But it really goes wrong when we give freedom for this desire to grow.

So its always good to tell the truth about whats going on in your mind to your partner and try to fix it. If you keep watering the poisonous plant, when it grows as a tree, you can’t do much about it.

The Promise to Fire God on being true to your Husband/Wife

I really don’t have enough knowledge about customs followed in Indian Marriage ceremony. In some families, the Couples are asked to come around the fire place/ lamp or the Pooja is done for agni deva. I understand that its a promise a Husband makes to the Fire God that “I will be true to my wife and take care of her faithfully for rest of my life”

Similarly, the bride promises the God “I will be true to my husband and be devoted to him for rest of my life”

No matter what way your Marriage ceremony was done, Marriage is all about “Love, Faith and Trust” unasked for. One must trust his/her wife/husband with out any doubts. If you have something that hurts you, tell it out clear and soft.

At the same time, Doubting can be a inborn nature. Some people doubt for everything. This really can be handled only if you develop a strong bond in them.

Being faithful to your husband or wife and Sai’s guidance

I really don’t find this topic apt for StarSai but these days am trying to understand life and address various issues as much as I can. Doubt’s basically could also be one’s possessiveness towards their partner but its not always constructive.

OK why this article?

These days having fun and being social has become very common that couples don’t really have time of their own when they have ample of time to talk and share their likings and disliking.

Today, if 5 guys sits and drinks, they become friends. Its very strange how men consider anyone as friend just because they share something common.

If few women go on shopping or meets in a work place, they become friends. You never know who really is good friend and who isn’t. Sometimes, Its always good to limit your friendship to where it belongs and doesn’t bring it home to your own personal life.

Many people tell me, You must marry a girl who’s a Sai devotee as you pray Saibaba so much. Based on my experience, I fear even to accept a Sai devotee girl as my friend unless I know her personally. We can’t always be right just because one shares common likings.

I honestly believe couples must have time of their own on a day to day basis to know whats going on in their life. This will help you both have better Love and Trust on each other.

So what’s Sai’s guidance in this article?

I can’t recollect any stories which happened during Sai’s life time as an example for this incident but Sai has always encouraged being kind to one’s wife and also being true to her.

Saibaba warning appearing infront of the door

Once a devotee (don’t wanna mention  name). This devotee has said this to interview given to Narasimha swamiji in 1930’s . He has gone to a women who’s bad in nature. He was about to do some mistake there and he’s a married men too.When his mind was crept with such bad thoughts, he suddenly saw Saibaba standing outside the door and saying “What were you about to do? Your reputation will be spoiled”

The man immediately comes out of the house and realize how Saibaba saved him at the right moment.

Being Kind to your wife

Sathe is a very rich man who is the first to build a Wada in Shirdi in 1910. He lived with his family in shirdi along with his father in law in other house. Once his Father in law had bought a land of around 20 acres for his daughter as gift for his son in law but asked Sathe not to visit the land. This is because he felt their relatives will demand their share if they know he has given such a big gift for son in law.

But Sathe din’t listen. Called for a Tonga ( Horse cart) to go and see the land. His wife listening to her father’s words said “She won’t come”. Sathe got angry, took the stick they used to beat the horse and was about to beat his wife.

Sai was in Dwarakamai and knowing whats going on, sent for Sathe through someone.

As soon as Sathe went into Dwarakamai, Sai said

“Your land is where it should be. What’s the hurry in looking at it? Why beat your poor wife?”

Sathe realized Sai baba has stopped him from doing the sin of hurting his wife.

Hope you like this leela friends.

The moral of the story is

1. Be true to your husband/wife

2. Relationship is all about Faith. So clear up all the doubts by speaking to each other on what’s happening in your life once in a while.

3. If there’s True love, you can always lead a peaceful life

When Sai lived, Only men hurt women. Today, women too hurt men and hence I wanted to write this article.

Am getting late for work now

Wonder why Sai makes me write all this. Nalla enna use pandra baba…Enaku yeadhadhu keta Kanna moodikura”

Sai, You use me nicely for doing all your seva but when I ask something for myself, you close your eyes.

Don’t know if you ever will open your eyes for me and show me my girl or better make my parents allow me to live single. I am satisfied as it is. When they ask me to marry any girl, its like am supposed to marry just because they worry about it. I really wish to marry when I find someone whom I really like.

Its really confusing me Sai.

Open your eyes please !

Love

Venkat