I don’t want to express that am too spiritual or religious and act as if am too good

Sairam friends,

One of the things Shirdi Saibaba taught me is being true to myself, my parents and Sai himself. The way people perceive someone who is too religious is really odd. As if religious people are too traditional to survive in this world. There’s a difference between being spiritual, religious externally and showing devotion on Gods and Saints internally. When I say internal, I mean the devotion I have on the Gods I love and Shirdi Saibaba.

I am neither spiritual nor religious. If you call going to temple is religious I can stop going to temples. If you call, doing some rituals is religious, I can stop doing that. Only thing that I will do for rest of my life is remembering Sai and Gods I love in my heart. No one can stop this and this remembrance of Sai is what makes me happy and live in peace.

I really don’t like to call myself as a Sai devotee especially since it has become a fashion today to call one as a Sai devotee. I simply like being known for the good deeds I do. People who follow Sai think I am one among them and people who doesn’t follow Shirdi Saibaba might think, I belong to a particular group of people who follow Saibaba.

Sai will be happy about me only for what I think, speak and do and not for simply calling myself as a “Sai devotee”

My own sister at times scolds me and asks me to be practical and it take her advice to me very positively. I can vouch you that my sister is more human than me in various cases but I might have been selfish had I been in her place. The point I wish to project in this article is the fact that being spiritual and religious doesn’t matter at all to Shirdi Saibaba.

Simply think about Sai for a minute and do your work, be honest and good. This is enough.

Going to temples, singing Aarti, reading Sai Satcharitra and finally having lots of unwanted thoughts, jealousy,lust,  greediness, hatred and laziness is of no use.

I am not a very good Sai devotee too. This is because irrespective of how much I serve him, I complain about him that he has not fulfilled my wishes in various issues. This means, I have not surrendered myself totally in my Guru’s feet. I don’t have maturity to understand Sai must have let me fail for some good reason.

I write articles about reducing anger but I myself get angry with my parents and at times hurt others easily with my words. When I write here about good things, people think, I am good which I don’t agree with. Many days, I was planning to write honestly about who I am in reality.

I am not bad but I like to project myself as one among you. In the past few days, the way I write articles also projected me as just another ordinary guy. I purposely did this because I don’t like to have a false image of myself as if I am so divine and carry all the good qualities in me. There must me a time in our life when we look at ourself and ask if we are really good hearted?

May be I am not. May be there are so many other people who had lead a very good life. I have not been responsible all these years. I lived in my own dream world and never really worked hard. I just roamed temples, showed devotion on Gods, Goddess and Shirdi Saibaba.

StarSai itself was not intentionally created in 2004. It just happened and not me but Sai is making me work on it. I could have spent the time I spend for Sai service in a commercial venture. I could have earned better and might have uplifted my status in society. This is what everyone expects in a Man. So I have failed to live the life people expect me to and in the end my parents are suffering.

Today, I thought of expressing myself to regular readers of StarSai. I am good but not “too” Good. I have my ups and downs in the way I think, feel and do.

Why I wish to express that I don’t want to act as if I am too good?

Here comes the truth. Anyone can serve God in temple, at home or run an NGO or do good deeds in society. Any one can serve Shirdi Saibaba in temple or in any other ways. Any one can call themselves as a counselor or a spiritual healer. The reality is none of us are “too” Good.

The most irritating mails I get from Sai devotees are the times when they say they met a “Guruji” who’s serving God or they met a man who’s close to Shirdi Saibaba and he’s been guiding them etc. Listen. I myself have guided many. Does that make me perfect? I can say good to 1000 Sai devotees but to be good, I have to take effort constantly.

Please do not trust anyone easily. Even my parents at times ask me If I like to marry a girl who’s a Sai devotee. Tell me which girl is not a Sai devotee today? Most of them are. I could have not said this before 10 years of even 5 years. Today, Sai devotion is part of every one’s life. If Sai wants to bless me a girl who’s just his devotee, he must have done that long back.

There’s more to a girl than Sai devotion and may be Sai wasn’t able to find the one who will really like me for what I am.

Similarly, My humble request to all of you is to perceive someone beyond what they project themselves externally. No one will write openly like this but its my responsibility to tell you how you can perceive me. See me as a good Sai friend. See me as someone who serves Shirdi Saibaba but please don’t see me as someone too spiritual or religious.

I am simply trying to be Good and holding palm of Sai to take me in the right path.

Sai blessings

Venkat