Sairam friends,
I was upset from this evening as of my good friend at work moving to another city as he got job in a good company. I am happy for him and always prayed that he be blessed with a better career. Occasionally, I just told him that it would be great if he is in Coimbatore as he can visit his Mom regularly.
Further, his home is opposite to the school when my Sister studied years back. She was sick for over a year and my Ma used to go to school everyday to take care of her and sit under the tree. I wrote about it in chapter 2 of the book I started writing on Sai but will never complete – Shirdi Sai baba Book of Love.
Anyway, Its good that I did not go out to lunch with him for the past 2-3 month. It really helps me now. Else, I would have felt more emotional. I usually never get close to anyone but if I do, its hard for me when they move to a different place. In the last 6 and half years, I never bothered when anyone resigned and left the work place. This time, I felt little sad but hopefully, I will be fine in few days.
This evening, I also laughed a lot because one of my habit if to draw stupid cartoons with a story associated to it. I will force everyone to appreciate my cartoons as I have so much fun. Couple of month back, I made a cartoon for a guy and within 10 days, he decided to resign. One of my friend was telling that if you make a cartoon, people will get job in a good company. So who ever needs a good job must approach me for making a cartoon!
After all this laughter, as I walked down, I suddenly felt if its right for me to behave so stupid and laugh like this? Am I living a life which gives me so much freedom to laugh and be happy? I don’t know if its right for me to laugh when my parents are not happy because of me.
I went to Saibaba temple, sat looking at Sai from the corner and then went to Dwarakamai to distribute prasad after Aarti. I asked Saibaba why he unnecessarily showed me a dream which made me write to a girl? He must have blessed me with such dreams atleast little later so that I would have been careful and kept everything as a secret. I am not able to justify the whole episode. I feel dizzy now as its late during night when I write this. I had tears in my eyes while in temple and pleaded Saibaba to answer me and give me some clarification.
I came home, spoke to my Ma for few minutes and now started writing.
So what’s the moral of this article?
No matter how close you are with your friends, always practice being alone and maintain some distance from them when ever you can. This will help you a lot because people whom you care may not always be near you. You can only be their welwisher.
I am little depressed today. I get few mails regularly from couples who are praying for child birth. I don’t know what to say? Have patience. Sai devotion isn’t easy. It takes immense patience to experience Sai leela.
Sai blessings
Venkat
Edit – I felt that I am getting depressed and upset unnecessarily these days as I am not doing any work at night. Irrespective of how profitable it is, I wish to work on my projects at night as it helps me not to think about anything. I wish to start working at night once again from this week by Sai grace.
