Baba…I can’t love anyone the way I love you

Sairam friends,

Kindly try to understand me. In the past 11 years, I never had experience of hearing movie songs in dreams. Even one of my friend asked me, “How can you say Saibaba only is blessing you with these dreams?”. Agreed. But that’s how I have lived these 8-9 years. When ever I mention about Sai dreams, its not that Baba appeared in dream. I will even see a stranger, my parents, some peculiar saint or friends conveying a message to me and I will take it as Sai’s way of communicating with me. So all dreams according to me are blessed by my Saibaba.

Only from September 2016, I started hearing songs in dreams. I used to clearly list all my dreams along with dates so that I can analyse them clearly anytime in future.

On September 14th – I already woke up. I mean,I wasn’t in deep sleep but I suddenly had this dream vision. It was a Hindi Song – Chori Chori Jab Nazrein mili.  I wrote about it in this article – Saibaba, let the worm of worries grow into a happy butterfly

On October 2nd – I did not hear the song but saw a lead girl with baby pink dress and as if I am filming her from Helicopter. I misunderstood it as the Tamil movie I had worked with this girl and made a video too using background score from that film. – Sai want’s you to smile

I kept wondering what song it must be? A week later, Sai himself made me find out this Tamil song. I will never reveal this song to anyone as its very special to me. I torchured some of my friends at work making them listen to this song saying “The lyrics is so beautiful”. This song is one of the reason, I am finding it really hard to pass on this issue no matter how much I try. Sai can’t do this to me. If he is telling something unreal, then, how can I lead my life? I wrote about it here – Meaning to what ever I do believing in You.

I agree that I love Music a lot and I had been into filmmaking but that doesn’t mean, I must have songs as dreams. It’s really surprising. It’s also shocking because Sai has never ever communicated so clearly to me with specific names. This is the most painful part of all. My problem is “Why are you telling me something unreal Sai?” So here after, I decided to do something better. Instead of associating dreams with my personal life, I decided to write an article associating Saibaba himself to the dream.

This morning on November 9th 2016, I again had a dream as if I hear this Hindi song – Kasam ki kasam hai kasam se, Humko pyaar hai sirf tumse.

The song can be rougly translated as

“Promise of Promises….I am in love with only you.”

How much I love this song? Such beautiful tune but I don’t like the choreography. They must have shot outdoor. And Kareena gives a kind of over expression but its not too odd ya. How can you express the pain of love in face. She has tried.  How can I forgot Kareena? he he..I worked in post production of one of her film. Wish I could rewind life and start fresh once again.

So here’s the lyrics..

Kasam ki kasam hai kasam se
Humko pyaar hai sirf tumse
Ab yeh pyaar na hoga phir humse

Log kehte hain paagal hoon main yeh bhi na jaanoon
Dil lutaaya hai maine, ab kisi ki na maanoon
Chain de karke maine bechainiyaan yeh li hai
Neendein udaake maine tumse vafaayein ki hai
Kasam ki kasam hai kasam se
Jee rahe hain hum tere dam se

Rougly translated as.

I assume “Kasam” is not just a promise. It’s like saying “I Swear”. It’s like taking an oath.

Promise of promises

I am in love with only you

This love can’t happen again in me

People say I am mad but I don’t realize that too

I burgled my heart and I dont listen to anyone now

I have lost my peace and become restless

I gave up my sleep to keep the promise.

I am living because of your breath…

The best part of the lyrics is this

“Ab yeh pyaar na hoga phir humse”

How beautiful is it?

It means

Such love cannot happen in me next time.

It’s like saying, I can’t love anyone else the way I love you. And since I am trying to associate with Sai devotion, we can put it like this

Sai, I can’t love anyone the way I love you

Anyway…Did you notice why I wrote the word “Baba…” with three dots in the title?

Devotion is in the way you express love towards Saibaba from bottom of your heart

All these years, I never speak about StarSai or the works I do for Saibaba to anyone at work. Recently, I used to go out to lunch with one of this guy during which time I kept listening to an Ad film and torchure him saying “It’s shot so beautifully”. When he asked if I am not bored looking at it so many times, I told him that I am going to make a Sai video based on it.

So when I made this video Start Something Fresh! on my Birthday, I sent it to him and requested him never to open the file in office and listen only when he’s alone. He just comes to Saibaba temple once in a while with me but not that much into Sai devotion. So I assumed he won’t listen to it.

Yesterday, he came near my place and said

“Baabaaaa…”

I turned to him and asked “What?” He laughed and said “That’s how you speak in your video”. I can’t control laughing and said

“Yes…I speak like that. It come’s from my heart. I always speak to Saibaba that way when I am in temple also”.

While going to lunch, he told me that the way I say “Baabaaa” has a soul in it. He could realize why so many of my Sai friends would have liked my videos. He asked why you always show that fire in video for which i said that there’s no other go since I don’t have time to shoot.

The past 2 days, when ever he comes near me, the best joke for us is saying “Baabaaa”.

There’s another dialogue I had told him casually when I was really depressed. He caught it and now repeats the same to me.

Some of my other friends were irritating me saying “He’s your new friend. So you go with him to lunch”. The same thing, they said when I used to go to my another friends place even to speak officially.

We all like to spend few minutes with people whom we find are good hearted. Not that I am avoiding others. To me, everyone are important but at times, we have our own personal likes. My other friend remains in India only few weeks and I speak to him once in a while when he’s not too busy. Other day, someone again started this issue . I was really hurt when she asked me if I wanted to join his team? I was really annoyed and kept calm just because I felt its better to be quiet.

I casually told her

“Thank God he’s not a girl. Else, you people will speak something else”.

I hate such culture. Most corporates fail because people live in Silos.

Secondly, The guy from Pollachi once told me that his house is opposite to a school where my Sister studied. We spent our childhood days in Pollachi, a town near Coimbatore. My Sister had some health issues when she was in school. So my Mom used to come to school for over a year and sit outside under the tree to take care of my Sister. She had told me that she used to sit outside a house some where near the school and get into the school only during lunch time. So I imagine that it could be this guys house because that’s how he describes his home location. I even told this to my Mom. So in so many ways, I respect this guy for what he is.

My Mom’s determination made my Sister continue her studies. I wrote about it in this article – Education is the Greatest Blessing.

Anyway, The past 2-3 weeks, I am planning to go to Tirupati but I could not. Atleast, this weekend, I wish to go. Let’s see what Sai plans for me. I am happy to post a photo contributed by my friend Murali Sai. He does very divine pooja for Saibaba in his home.

That’s it friends.

I wanted to make a video but feeling sleepy. Even this guy kept asking me ‘When you slept yesterday?”. I told him “At 1.30 and he said I must sleep by 11.30”. That’s impossible. I already have slight stomache ache these days and getting scared as my parents will worry a lot if I get sick. I believe Saibaba will heal me.

I just don’t understand this new experience Saibaba made me go through from September. Things would have been much better, if I associate all dreams directly with my devotion on Saibaba. Wonder why I din’t do it? Now, I can’t regret. I am supposed to go through all this pain. I wonder when Saibaba will show me a way? Everyday, I ask him to come in dream and tell me clearly why all this happened?

I will sleep again tonight beliving Saibaba will guide me.

Have you realized such intense love on Saibaba?

StarSai’s mission is just that. To stir your emotions and make you show such pure expression of devotion on Baba. I must do it atleast once in a while. Have you ever felt that you love Sai truly, madly and deeply? I felt it several times but its mostly when I forget my worries.

If you remember your worries, you can never feel attached with Baba. Forget all the difficulties you are going through. Forget your current problems in life. Forget yourself and simply keep your heart innocent without any desires. Now, when you see Baba, you can realize the true love that emerges in your heart for him.

Sai, my love for you is honestly true

Baba…I can’t love anyone the way I love you.

Don’t doubt me Saibaba.

Om Sai Ram

Venkat