Sairam friends,
Last night, I was deeply disturbed due to some news. I came home and never spent time with my Mom. After few hours, I got depressed. I started questioning Sai about why he showed me the girl at work in dream. Thankfully, I am completely out of it. I can’t find any reason to even befriend this girl. Then, why did I start? Why Sai showed series of dreams? Why this happened in an office environment? Why should I go through such embarrassment? Atleast tell me one reason why I should go through unnecessary problems?
Is Saibaba teaching me something through this experience? Should I change myself based on this incident? Is there a debt I owe to this girl in some birth that got cleared? I firmly believe you only suffer because you did a sin to someone in previous birth or this birth. If that is so, I told Baba, I will do good to anyone whom I come across but Sai alone can give me an opportunity to do good karma.
I can easily throw this issue away and I already did. Still, I feel blank as Saibaba has never did anything without a good reason. I told Baba to think about the consequences of his dreams.
Anyway, Even if I shed tears, Sai doesn’t seem to answer me. As I get old, I just understood a clear message from Sai.
I must learn to be emotionless.
Its important to seperate our Body from our soul. At its purest form, the soul is the one Sai is connecting with. “You” as in your physical “Yourself” should be disintegrated from your soul. Sai doesn’t allow me to have any desires of my own.
All these problems are because of my own fault. Sai just added ingridiants to the spark of desire. Having said that, I don’t even have such desire anymore. Then, I certainly deserve an answer from Sai.
I am supposed to be calm and see the events unfolding infront of me.
Here, if I have attachment with my body and mind, I will be in pain. A soul doesn’t even think because its a state of life. It collects data about your good and bad karma. It has Sai in it. Its divine. It can inspire you to do several good deeds.
If you wish lead a happy life irrespective of hardships, seperate yourself from your soul and live having the soul as the life force.
I wish to be pure. I am yet to be.
I am confusing so much as I don’t know to see the divinity of my soul which Sai exists.
Its better if I leave this issue once for all and forget it. Let me try to do that.
Saibaba will certainly give me a clarity as time passes on…
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
