Don’t cry. Sai wont do anything if you cry

Sairam friends,

Am writing this article word by word using mobile and hence alignment won’t be good. I saw the news about the building collapse due to rain in chennai and that was just a breaking news for all of us which we eventually forget. When urbanization happens people do face such disasters. Its painful. Lets pray for these construction workers who sacrifice their life to build homes.

I met my cousin sisters today after few years. Then they dropped me in T Nagar. I got bus to Mylapore to go Shirdi Saibaba temple there.I was using GPS in Google Maps app to see where am heading to.I smiled  when i Saw Ramco office building as someone at my work always says about her experience in Ramco.

Always an example of Ramco will be used which makes my friends  at work get irritated…the usual dialogue will be …naan Ramcola irukumbodhu…..and then its all fun for my team….he..he…

I reached Mylapore and walked to Shirdi Saibaba temple there. I am not blaming anyone but lately i found few things happening here doesn’t make me feel comfortable. I entered the temple when they were about to start afternoon Aarti. The security asks devotees to sit on floor if they like to attend aarti.

I usually can’t sit in a place. So i moved in the rightside of temple, worshiped the sacred tree, Sai Datta and entered the hall of Narasimha Swamiji.

 Why i consider Mylapore Saibaba temple as very auspicious?

A temples glory depends on the person who took initiative to build it.Mylapore Sai mandir is built by pujyasri H H Narasimha Swamiji in 1956. Not sure about the year but its one of the reason to spread Sais glory.   Narasimha Swamiji went in search of a Guru for 18 years and finally found a sadguru in Shirdi Saibaba. Hes the key person to spread Sais glory after Babas Maha Samadhi. I have immense respect on this temple and have been visiting it past 15 years. As years pass on and crowd increased i felt things are getting too commercial and few news i read about this temple once in a while in newspaper made me worry how Sai let the dream temple of Narasimha Swamiji to be like this.

I entered Narasimha Swamijis hall and sat there while aarti was going on. Earlier there used to be no Aarti in this sai temple. Now i felt happy for this change. I saw a girl in front sitting on her  kneels and bowing to Baba while Aarti was sung. I told baba in my heart that i wont show so much devotion on him. I just listen to Aarti.

I climbed up the stairs and went inside the Meditation hall. As soon as i walked in i saw a girl crying looking at the huge portrait of Sai. She was sitting in the corner of the huge hall. I walked ahead and sat looking at sai. The girl was still crying and i could realize shes really hurt and praying Sai to show her a way.

I wanted to meditate but the sound of this girl crying like child to herself made me restless. From 2004 when ever i see someone crying in Sai temple i give them a sai photo and try to say some healing words. This time i can’t do it as i dont want the girl to feel embarrassed as other devotees too were watching her.

I told baba if i see her outside i shall give the photo and make her feel your presence in her life. I was really getting nervous the more i sat there because i myself cry like this to sai. The only difference is i do it in my home silently. I really felt like getting up and telling the girl not to cry but i kept silent as i felt too odd to speak to a stranger.

I Got up and simoultaneously the girl too started out of meditation hall. I turned to her near the stairs and gave the Saibaba photo. She received it.              I told her “Don’t cry. Sai won’t do anything if you cry”                           And without my knowledge i added … “I cried enough”.  Then i told her read Sai Satcharitra and keep chanting his name. I don’t wana speak more to the girl as i know shes feeling embarrassed.

Even while crying i saw she sat in corner turned her face to the wall at times as if she wants baba to see her in tears and not other devotees.  I walked out to main hall, fell in the floor bowing to sai and came out. I want to make sure i loose sight of the girl forever. I walked out of temple.

Then i went to K K Nagar to my another aunts home as she invited to have lunch. I reached there and ate well. She asked me to rest. I thought i will sleep for 15 minutes. But since i came in hot sun i slept deeply. I felt too embarrassed as i woke up only at  4.45. She asked me if am going to Tambaram and i told her that i wish to go again to Mylapore Saibaba temple. She asked me why again. I told her that i get bored in chennai and cant sit on home.

I took the bus to Mylapore. I got jasmine flower in Luz from an old women and reached temple. This time they were singing evening Aarti.I walked again to Narasimha swamiji hall n sat looking  at sai few minutes.

All temples are commercial:

I thought to myself that all temples are commercial if you perceive it that way. Why should i feel uncomfortable only about Mylapore.Even if one devotee is benefitted by a temple it adds value in his/her life. So i said to myself…. ” i feel good here. I feel happy here”.

Friends..I will tell you a secret. Usually People who run the temple and others who are part of temple etc may be money minded and you might face some situations where only money speaks but why should we bother that. As long as i am allowed to worship Shirdi Saibaba peacefully i wont have any issues. Baba himself says this…

                                                   ” If you want to take my money. Fine.  But remember a fakirs money is forced away. You might have to pay back every penny of what you took from me.”                                                                  

Then i moved up to meditation hall. I went to the same corner where i saw the girl who was crying in morning. I sat in the corner and thought about my life. I thought about my parents wish  and spoke to saibaba internally looking at the huge portrait.

I told sai that i pray this beautiful Mylapore Saibaba temple must be safe and continue to serve devotees forever. There might be some ups and downs in all temples. Even in Shirdi some devotees feel being hurt by securities and others. So we can only hope go to a temple as long us we feel peaceful there.

Then i told Baba that i feel sorry for telling the girl that Sai wont do anything if you cry.   May be i expressed my own anger on sai. May be i cant bear to see a girl crying in public. Please do not because others must not know your weakness. Since am sensitive i know its hard to control emotions but make sure you remain strong.

I gave her the sai pic in which i had printed

” Give food to the hunger and chant Sairam as much as you can. Sai will fulfill your wishes.” 

I myself simple speak…shed tears and talk to baba when am depressed but rarelt chant his holy name. My intention was to make the girl realize she must live with confidence and chant holy name Sai Sai Sai instead of crying. When you are in pain. Its ok to show your emotions to sai but also chant his name. This way sai can make your life good.

I told baba what rights i have to tell your devotee not to cry when i myself feel tears in eyes as i look at you thinking about my life. So i prayed sai to bless the girl and all devotees in such pain. Baba let everyone of your child be blessed.

I prayed for my parents sister and her family. I woke up went down to dhuni. An old lady was writing sairam in a notebook. I gave her sai photo. Then i bowed to saibaba …thanked him and prayed him to bless me with a good life.  I called up my Sai friend in Bangalore as i wana know abour her child n husbands wel being. I got bus to Tambaram and reached my relatives home.

I told Amma that i simply wemt to Mylapore saibaba temple and told baba to do good to me. I have to spend one more day in chennai. Really bored baba though i went out all day. I want to come back Coimbatore and only then i will feel satisfied.. My neck and palm pains as i type this experience in mobile more than 2 hours.

Am wondering what if the girl reads this…may be she will think odd. I cant wipe tears of every man women and child. I can do little i can to say good words to devotees i see face to face.

I am Sai’s little sevant and i cant bear his children in tears. Sai might do leela when he looks at you crying but you are helping Sai to help you by doing any spiritual sadhana.

Be strong internally…listen to Aarti….read Sai Satcharitra…chant Sai Sai Sai….Sai will bring you all happiness in life…

Baba i am missing Nagasai mandir.

Please take me Coimbatore soon.

Venkat