Hi,
After spending 3 month worrying about few happenings, I came to a conclusion. I had such experience right from 2007. This isn’t new to me. I started hugging Sai Satcharita while sleeping from 2007. I will ask something to him and Saibaba too used to guide me in dream.
Several such dreams has helped me. Infact even the very small incident like where should I buy some stuff was hinted by Saibaba to me. None can understand the way Sai and myself used to communicate. I can’t proudly say that I understood all his dreams but I can certainly say that I lived based on his dreams for almost this 8-9 years. It has helped me a lot.
I was too humiliated when I started trusting Sai dreams to this extent. In 2011, 2012 and 2013, some dreams from Saibaba has guided me but it has eventually ended up negatively too. I never blamed Sai for any of this misgivings. Saibaba has assured me few things in dreams which he never did. There is a reason for this.
Sai will do something based on how other’s mind works. When Sai assured me something, he could have felt that was the right thing for my life. Later, as time passed on, Sai would have felt, that isn’t right for me.
So I finally came to a conclusion.
I will trust dreams from Saibaba.
I will act according to it
But I won’t demand Saibaba to make it come true.
I suffered last 3 month because I never see anything practically and blindly follow Sai dreams.
I accept life as it is now and I bring everything to an end.
If the saint whom I trusted heart and soul wanted to face this pain and insult for trusting his words, I will be happy to accept it.
I just learnt a lesson.
Dreams from Saibaba may not have any relationship with real life
So accept it and move on.
I always write that I am crying..I am shedding tears etc. I think all this is simply drama. I must be emotionless. Sai wants me to be emotionless. One must not show any feelings or emotions because that’s how the world works.
When ever I show my over sensitivy to Saibaba, he has told this to me
Imagine yourself being burnt. Think that you are inside the fire of holy Dhuni. Just burn yourself and your desires mentally. Be emotionless. Accept what ever happens and live like a stone!
I just asked Saibaba do I need all this when my parents have health issues?
My Mom has so much pain even when something small happens, she reacts in a different way. We are not worried about the surgery my Father is supposed to go through just because we don’t want to complicate his health. Why do I even ask Saibaba to answer me for his dreams.
What should be his answer?
Why should he even bother me when he has millions of people to take care of?
I did a mistake and may be, I am unnecessarily looping him for my own ignorance.
So lets conclude this way..
I am not good.
I am not practical in life.
I am not responsible
I am supposed to suffer as I would have done sins to many girls in my previous birth. This is something I had always imagined and I know its true based on all my past experiences.
Anyway..Its supposed to happen.
I am supposed to get ashamed.
Its done and over now
What ever I wrote in past few articles could just be a memory. May be Sai is experimenting with the most foolish devotee he could possibly get.
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
