Sairam friends,
I was feeling good the past few days but suddenly last evening, I really feel fed up and depressed. Sai doesn’t seem to care for me and what ever I pray for. Its really painful to imagine a life where one’s True Guru does not care about their feelings and fulfills their desire.
I din’t do anything useful all this day. I simply slept as I have severe pain in my hand and was also not in good mood. My Mom was really sad she had pain in her head too. She had medicines.
Now a days, I am not replying mails from Sai devotees because I am externally acting as if I am happy but deep inside I don’t like what Sai is doing and feeling depressed and dejected with life. Sai children can directly seek Sai’s guidance and am too amateur to show anyone a good way when I myself struggle in life. I had been serving Sai for several years and told my Mom seems Sai doesn’t care for me.
My aunt and uncle from Chennai are coming tomorrow and I might have to spend time with them.
I am going to Annapurna temple and then Nagasai mandhir now.
Sai, You know my heart for you live in it.
Venkat
Edit: I spent all through Sunday doing Editing work and enjoyed doing it. By evening my Aunt and Uncle had come. I had severe shoulder pain and I started to Nagasai mandhir. I was getting bored as these days am not reading any sacred Books. The priest gave me pink Lotus and I came back home. I wanted to take off and be with my uncle and aunt.
Years back, This uncle only helped me in my Film career introducing me to the Editor. He was speaking that now he’s doing lots of movies and I started remembering the past days. If anyone asked if I will be into a IT career years back, I would have never believed in them. I wonder how my life changed so much. I accepted life as it comes.
Wish I work on a documentary sometime in my life. Wish to travel a lot, Shoot and edit. May be this dream too will never come true.
Venkat,
I don’t want you to feel so depressed. I also feel the same time to time, that Baba doesn’t care about me. But Baba loves you and wants you to keep doing what you are doing. That is why you have such a wonderful website and he is using you as his messenger.
Those whom Baba loves, go through more pains in their lives. That is so we stay close to him all the time and have a good relationship with him.
So please, don’t be sad. Please keep posting your articles and everything.
Sairam,
Deepika
omsairam
gud mrng venkat my mind searched & prayed sai’s msg for you in ths bright mrng
pls accept this to sai’s words
Show your gratitude to me and your father and mother!
finally U come to me!
from Krishna and bhagavat Geeta site
omsairam
Sai ram Venkat. Shraddha and Saburi are the essence of Baba’s love for his devotees. Think good and good things will happen.
Dear Venkat,
We all are with you, those who have posted comments and those who have not and read and prayed for you.
Wish you get out of it and have happy and blissful life!
Sai Ram!
I think that we all go through the darkest phase of our lives when we are living a life which we never wanted. When things do not go the way we want…the fact that we believe that it is the almighty which is not taking care of us we need to question the fundamentals- what is our concept of the God and is it our perception or is it the truth? and we will realize that our concept of GOD it self is at fault. We have not known our own “self” our aatma so forget about knowing the “paramaatma”….my dear friend have faith in your self….life is colorful for all the misery and joy…unfulfilled shattered dreams and accomplished goals….we need to have faith in our “self” our God is within us….the dream not coming true is a resignation….an acceptance of defeat….look for a way to accomplish your goal..try to do it once, twice , thrice ….give a time limit……
.if it does not then it is not meant to be…perhaps we have another path to take, new lessons to learn….accept it that if we want it happens it good and if it does not it is the same, there are many other beautiful things in the world… the day you accept there is no remorse,regret or depression….we all are here for the beautiful experiences the world has to offer…enjoying the beauty of nature,love of the beloved………our experiences are own…lets be a selfie to enjoy…
I know its easy said….but it is the fact…I have gone through the same feeling being let down and a moment came to “let go”….”leave it”..”experience the new”….
SAI WILL NEVER BE WITH YOU IF YOU FEEL BECAUSE SAI IS ONLY A MANIFESTATION OF YOUR OWN SELF….