Feeling nostalgic Baba

Sairam friends,

Last Thursday, I talked less to all my friends at work. I actually wanted to be like this forever. But the same night, I felt very depressing. So I decided to better talk to everyone as before. On Friday, I talked to everyone and felt better. India has so many common names. Names like Priya, Vidhya, Geetanjali, Anu, Lavanya, Kavitha, Divya, Anjali are so common that I have more than 2-3 Sai friends in the same name but living in different parts of India and abroad.

As it was Holi, Geetanjali didi called up from Lucknow this morning to wish me “Happy Holi”. I told her, in Coimbatore, I hardly see people celebrating Holi. But when I went to North Indian temple Sakthi Dhaam two days back, I found lots of holi powder scattered down in the floor of temple. So I helped the security clean it.

All my Sai friends call me Anna or Bhaiya but very few rarely do they really mean it. Calling a man as a brother just because you wanna be in safer side is too artificial. Instead, you can call them by their name.

If you call someone as a brother, you must mean it from heart and soul. A brother-Sister relationship is so divine.

Geetanjali didi makes me feel like She really peceives me as her own brother. It makes me feel good. She has 2 kids and a happy family.

She also asked me if I know where Lucknow is? I told her that these days, I have a habit of looking at Google Map atleast to understand India better. I have never traveled beyond Mumbai. I must say that I have not seen India that even a foreign tourist would have seen.

When I started from work tonight, I spoke to another Sai friend by the same name – Geetanjali and this girl lives closer to Coimbatore. I was speaking to her all the way and continued to speak even after I reached Mandir. I have a few Sai friends to talk all that I am going through about this girl at work. Polambradhu….This happened to me..That happened to me…Baba showed me this dream..What should I do now? (Oh! I am not supposed to write about girl at work! Is it?)

After night Aarti, I distributed prasad in Dwarakamai and spoke to my friend for 30 minutes. I told him that I am really upset and depressed.

One of my favourite actress is Neha of the Hindi movie Kareeb.( To get close)

Featured photo is from the movie Kareeb. She acted in just few movies but her Debut film Kareeb always makes me feel nostalgic. The movie did not fare well in Box office. Most of the songs in Kareeb are beautiful. I like couple of songs – Chori Chori jab nazrein mili and Dil mera churalo

I took my Mom to Doctor on Saturday and then we went to Saibaba temple.

This weekend, I trying to remember what I have been doing during my childhood. I feel nostalgic when I remember the quarters we stayed. I remember the empty landscapes I happen to see on the way back from School. Very recently, Sai blessed me with a dream as if there’s a Sai Mandir near the quarters where we stayed.

These days, my parents are very weak. I am scared. Sai is taking care of them and hence I feel good. I don’t know what’s going to happen in my life? All these years, I never felt so painful as it is for me the past few months. I don’t know why should Sai show me dream of a girl at work and until now I am confused. It would have been a girl I met any where else Sai. I don’t mind that. I would have never felt so embarassed. But why in office environment where I had been very careful? And why now?

I started writing this article on Friday night and never wanted to publish it. I wanted to write something positive for devotees. I am trying to come out of it but something hurts me deeply.

Wish I could rewind most part of my life.

Wish I have a chance to go back and set everything right.

I would have done my Phd long back. What’s the use of showing me dreams that I must do Phd now when I lost interest in everything?

I don’t understand life and myself.

I also cannot prove the world how Sai Baba works. None would believe me if I say all that Sai is doing for me. I will keep it within myself for time being.