Happiness in Difficulties

Sairam friends,

Yesterday at work, we celebrated birthday for one of my friend and I really don’t like this habit of throwing stuff over them and calling it fun. I took video n laughed but deep inside, I felt very uncomfortable. We can have fun in so many different ways in life.  I came home directly and worked on few things. Felt really sleepy and laid down hugging the 1000 page book of Sai.

One of the famous Film Editor in Indian film industry was my mentor when I started my Film making Career. When I used to be with him, I don’t speak much but simply stand behind him watching the way he helps the director tell the story. I remember the day in 2008, I went to Chennai and called him up. He invited me to his new house and his wife told me, “We will support you in your film career. You stay here”.

I was there few month. I used to go Mylapore Shirdi Saibaba temple, kept reading Sai’s book in his work place and once in a while learn something. At that time my parents were about to go back to U.S to take care of my sister’s daughter and I felt its better to go back to Coimbatore. When my Editor was planning a short film and asked me to work on it, I simply told him “I am going back home”. He smiled to me.

That was the end of my Film career. I found myself in a Film School in Mumbai as a faculty. While i Mumbai, I missed my Mom a lot and wanted to have a job in Coimbatore. I found no way for such creative work in here and had to do my MBA and find a Job in an IT organization.

The past 10 Month, Sai keep blessing me with a dream in which I see the Editor uncle and every time it happens, I wonder what Saibaba really wants from me.Even before I made my Short Film, I saw him in dream.  I can’t go back to film making now but I know Sai wants me to do something for aspiring filmmakers.

A month back, I read online that my Editors Son is now directing a Hindi film. Felt little odd since when you achieved nothing and the one whom you saw as a little boy suddenly becoming a director, you feel “So am not lucky. That’s it”.

Today the message was clear in dream. I had a dream like this.

I go to his house in Chennai and meet this boy and his Mom. I speak something and say that I will come again to meet Editor uncle. Then, I see myself in a corner thinking why I never achieved anything in Film making. Then I see few men speaking to me. Some one asks me “What’s a portal?”. I make fun to him saying “Any where you see a Login box to enter your user name and password is a portal”.

Then, I see my parents and one of my relative taking us to a restaurant. In the restaurant my Father doesn’t feel good with the smoke from the kitchen. He feels dizzy and I worry a lot trying to wake him up. Sai saves him and then my father wanted to tell something to me…

He tells

“Find Happiness in Difficulties”.

That’s it.

As I woke up, I felt really sad and prayed Sai to bless my parents with good health. My father kept Coffee near my computer table and asked me to have it.

I really feel insecure at my work as I do market research and this isn’t going to take me any where. I know someday, these people won’t need me and I have to plan my life accordingly. Irrespective of the time I have to work, I wish to create a space online for filmmakers.

I searched online and looked at few pictures of my Editor uncle and wondered why Sai keeps showing him in dream. May be he really is Good and he remembers me too as someone who was with him with lots of hope. May be I will meet him again in my life and I really don’t want to meet him when I am like this.

In life, you have to do something what you desired to do or be someone who show a good path for thousands of others. I din’t become a filmmaker myself but I want to show a path to aspiring filmmakers and shall work on it.

There are few things I do just because Sai asks me to do it and this could be one among them.

Lets see how it goes..

Sai blessings

Venkat