How I became argumentative with parents?

Sairam friends,

Irrespective of all the love I have on Sai and my parents, I have become completely argumentative with them and get angry easily when they take some topics and humiliate me with their words. I am not able to accept it and move on. I argue with them and I argue until I make them understand what I mean. I have become completely inhuman in the way I justify myself infront of them.

This evening, I had been to Shirdi Saibaba temple and got my friends gave me opportunity to carry the Palki of Saibaba for few minutes. I really like the way the decorated Sai like Lord Shiva. I was chanting “Sai Paadha Lingam” In my mind and carrying palki. These words were told by Sai to me in dream in 2008-2009. Sai told me that someone is trying to spoil my livelihood and chanting this mantra “Sai Paadha Lingam” is good for me. Anyway, I carried the palki and found it was not so crowded as every year. Only few devotee carried Baba today.

I had only one prayer to Sai. To bless me with ability to accept what ever my parents say. They speak as they think I am not in doing good to myself. Their unfulfilled desire becomes anger and anger has no reasoning aspect into it. Anger is basically senseless and I can’t always shout back at them. I honestly wish to be calm but I talk back to them and really feel bad for hurting them.

My parents did everything for me all these years. I have failed my life as a whole and now, there’s no point in justifying that I am right in what ever I did. I simply have to accept that they are right and be calm.  Its easier said than done. Sometimes, we argue because we want to prove that we mean something that’s good for them. On the whole, I realized, Sai is not happy with my behavior. I have totally screwed up my life and is it right for me to speak back to my parents just because they have their own belief of life system? I have to accept it. I have to accept everything they say. I have to be calm.

Easier said than done.

I won’t be calm and I don’t know how to do good to them?

I just shout at them.

I hate myself behaving like this because we are not supposed to hurt our parents even if they hurt us.

This article is not about Sai but its about my inability to make my parents understand what Sai mean when he says “Shradha and Saburi”.

You can’t change life as such. You have to go through a stage where no one bothers who you are and what you do. No one really cares for you. None actually even know what you are going through.

Saibaba is always projected as a miracle worker. But to be with Sai, one needs immense tolerance and patience. Not many of us have it and even if we do have it, people around us are in hurry.

Forgive me for the words and my anger Sai.

Give me a blessing. That I accept what ever my Ma and Pa says and be calm.

If not at least I don’t want to shout at them.

They have done nothing wrong then loving me unconditionally.

Venkat

I have no strength to find a new photo and post it for this article. Hence it showsup default photo.