Did I hurt my Sai Children? A little Sai Sister from Uttarakhand

Sairam friends,

I did not go out today for weekend walking since I am working on my secret project. The one I believe will inspire and motivate people to keep learning and people who are jobless to live confident. All day I am infront of my Computer and working on it. My eyes are not so comfortable.

I have this Sai friend who’s did her Engineering from Kota, Rajasthan and belong to Kashipur in Uttarakhand. I was telling her about my life and she keeps praying for me to be blessed with a good wife.

(Note – My previous article about Uttarakhand – Chanting in mind for welfare of devotees in Uttarakhand,Dev Bhoomi )

Today, She wrote me with a excitement saying some girl has wrote in a Sai’s site that she wants to get married and asked me to write to her. I got really upset with her and told her not to do this with me. There are so many things in life which people see other than being a Sai devotee. Further, every other girl,I come across these days are Sai devotees.

Sometimes, It hurts me to core when people are eager to see me get married and they do things I did not even expect. Fine. I am happy. All of you are my welwishers. I love you all.But at times, Its really painful when people do things which will never change my life.

I try to be careful when I reply back to these devotees since I have hurt a girl in 2008.

I think, I can write her name as I honestly think that I have hurt this girl who was kind to me. I was in Mumbai in 2008 and Anjali came through StarSai and wrote me. We were not so close but she was eager to see me get married.

She was born and bought up in U.S and was doing her Medicine. I am sure, she will be a good physician by now. Once, she told me that she’s going to do Parayan of Sai Satcharitra and pray Baba to bless me with a good wife. Trust me. Even I find it hard to sit patiently and do Parayan of Sai Satcharitra.

This girl spent a week and wrote me saying she has completed reading the holy life of Shirdi Saibaba especially for me to be blessed with a good wife.

I was surprised.

But then the other side of Anjali is a little bit of harsh nature.

I have come across some Indian Girls who are born and bought up in U.S. They are so practical and stubborn and will never agree with what we say. We both used to have arguments in few issues..

She tells me “Why are you people bothering Saibaba so much? Even if there’s a fever, you pray to Sai”

Her perspective is that “When we face little problems in life, its to wash away our karma and we are supposed to bear it. But we are always bothering Sai”

She continued to be a good friend, a good devotee but very “Different and stubborn” in the way we worship Baba.

She also very easily hurt other devotees sentiments. So I had to block her from using a forum I made for Sai devotees. I gave importance to other devotees and banned her. Finally, today, even people for whom I blocked Anjali also are not part of the forum.

So what’s the lesson I learned?

1. Do not expect all Sai devotees to behave normal and Good to you.

2. Anjali was a good girl but her nature is little different and I must have adjusted with her practical views.

3. I regret for loosing a good Sai friend just because I wanted to save common good of other devotees.

Once, I also told my Sister over phone that girls in U.S are too practical and she told me ‘We have to live like this here. Or else they can’t survive in this society”.

May be, I would have tried to be more kind and adjusted what ever Anjali did. Its her way of doing things in life.

Anyway, Now a days, I do think of Anjali because she’s the only girl on Planet Earth who read Sai Satcharitra praying for me to be blessed with a good wife. Who else will do it for me?

When we were good friends, She used to tell me about a guy she likes. I hope she’s married by now.

Why I am writing this today?

Because, Just few minutes before, I hurt another girl who was too sweet in telling me, she found a girl for me. I was blinking and told her, I myself get such mails but honestly, there’s more to life than being a Sai devotee. Today, people see other aspects like what I earn, where I live and stuff like that.

I was really furious and told this girl from Uttarakhand not to do such crazy things for me and just her prayers is more than enough. I say this to everyone who wishes I must get married. Your ashirwad and prayers are the greatest gift you can give me.

When ever I hurt anyone, I make sure, I get back to them and fix things. I mostly do it unless they have done something really worse in their life.

My Mom has taught me that one must never hurt a women and make her cry. The sin will stick to us for 7 births.

So I get scared when ever I realize that I hurt a girl. Already, I am suffering. So I do not wanted to add to my bad karma.

We do lots of things which we do not realize as mistakes. After few days, weeks or even years, we realize that we must have been better. I write this article for devotees who regret what they did in their past.

I am not telling the name of this little Sai Sister from Uttarakhand because I respect her privacy. I mostly do not write anyone’s name in StarSai unless I know them personally.

I wish to show a very beautiful and simple Sai Statue this girl worships in her home. I am offering this Saibaba photo for all Sai Children I might have hurt in my past. In this birth and previous birth. Please do not take it to your heart. I didn’t mean it. I truly have immense respect and affection on all of you.

She does Pooja for this Baba in her home. I like these kind of Simple Saibaba statue. Though Sai looks little and face features won’t be that great, we can see pure devotion of the person who has done this pooja. I have tears in my eyes and immense devotion flows from my heart when I see such cute Baba.

OK friends.

I am going to sleep now. Too tired. Never spent the whole saturday near computer. All day working on something and too tired now.

This article is dedicated to little Sai Sister in Uttrakhand and so many other Sai children whom I have knowingly or unknowingly hurt. I am not so good. I am human and I do mistakes. Please forgive me for my nature. I shall try to be good.

As I always tell. I am only in the process of taking a journey to be a better human being.

Venkat