I still don’t know who is Saibaba?

Sairam friends,

Today, I was home all day simply doing some work. I went to Saibaba temple in the evening. My Father was watching an Old tamil movie. Its been years since I saw a movie on T.V. So, I laid down in the hall and watched the movie. It was a good film about a queen who makes all the kings as her slave by making them play a game and cheating them. I felt sleepy and hence came back to write.

I wanted to tell you all something. Though I write about dreams in StarSai, I had hardly seen Sai himself in the dream. I do have some visions and few dreams in past but not so frequently. Irrespective of that, I consider every dream is blessed by Saibaba himself.

There were dreams which Sai showed to prove how he is working hard to make my life better. ( He is doing it to you also. Just that you don’t realize it). Sai leela happens in fraction of a second but for that time to come, Sai really works day and night. Sai thinks about your welfare every moment you remember him deeply.

Having said that, I still don’t feel comfortable about the fact that I don’t know Saibaba.

Yes. I know his life. I know Sai Satcharitra. I sing in praise of him but do I know him?

The honest answer is NO.

This is because I am leading a normal life expecting Sai to fulfill my desire and what ever I want. My intention has never been to know who he is. My intention has always been selfish and I am motivated to worship Sai due to the materialistic benefits I imagine to get.

If I know Saibaba’s soul, then certainly, I will be the happiest life in the whole universe.

I just don’t even try to know him. Who cares about this poor fakir? I just care about my own life.

The fear of survival is blinding me. May be this fear alone is holding me with Saibaba. One way, fear is good because it makes us remember Sai.

Eventually, if we see the light of Sai and have self-realization, we will never have any fear of survival or fear for any reason for that matter.

Sai knows who I am. Sai knows my past, present and future. I am struggling with my own goals and experiments while he is calm and composed because he knows where I will be and doing what?

Who is this Saint?

Who is Sai?

Why is Saibaba taking care of us so much?

I just know that this relationship between Sai and myself is continuing birth after birth and I still don’t know who is Saibaba?

Love,

Venkat