Sairam friends,
This morning, I had a dream but completely forgot it.
My Mom is not well and all I need from Sai is to heal her.
I will write about few dreams I had last weekend. I often see the flat in which my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin stayed in Chennai near Marundheeswarar temple of Thiruvanmiyur. Probably, since my Sister and myself would often go there before years, the apartment got registered in my mind. My Aunt now lives in another place in Chennai. Then too, I continue to see this flat in Thiruvanmiyur in many of my dreams. Today, I see the whole apartment walls has got ruined as it must be over 30 years since they built it. There was no lift in all the 3 blocks. Today, I am asking my cousin if they have built a lift now?
Then, I see some guys climbing the building holding a pipe and reaching our flat. Dreams like these carry no message. It just makes me remember the past. I went on Google map and located the flat, the beautiful ancient, Marundheeswarar temple near the flat and those good old days when I used to light lamps there.
At times, When ever I see my cousin in dream, I get shocked if she had read what I wrote in StarSai. That will be really embarrassing because their lives are different from mine. She would have felt really odd. Some of my cousins know about my site even without me telling about it to them because they all know I love Sai.
In 2007, I took care of my uncle when he was hospitalized for a week due to severe backache caused by nerves being pressed by the bone. He was supposed to go through a surgery in Coimbatore. But the moment I took him to Nagasai Mandir, my uncle started walking well and said he don’t need surgery. Even my Aunt shouted at him not to act as if he’s normal being scared of surgery. Thankfully, until now my Uncle has managed without surgery. It’s truly Sai grace on him. Once he told me “Your house has Sai’s grace that I got healed during the stay”.
My other cousin once told that girls in her office, Capgemini would visit StarSai every Thursday. Majority of StarSai readers comes from an office environment.
I apologies for such passive readers of StarSai because these days, I am into my own worries.
So I often write about this girl at work whom Sai showed in dream and the fact that I am confused about it.
Today, I felt like this – “What will these readers think of me? What am I trying to prove here? That I saw a girl in dream and there’s difference between dream and reality?”
Irrespective of all the pain I am going through, I don’t want a third person to doubt me and laugh at me.
Sometimes, I laugh at myself for all the stupidity I am into the past few month.
I feel pity for this girl for I would have torchured her by doing nothing but simply saying “Sai showed you in dream..”
She would have laughed at me too for what else anyone would do?
I got few mails from people who care for me not to trust dreams and live my life. Thanks for the care. Thanks for understanding what I am going through.
I am like this because I have never lived myself for the past 11 years. I live based on Sai’s dreams and it has worked well for me.
As I assured in the previous 2 articles, I left this girls issue in Sai’s holy feet. I don’t want to often write about it and torchure people who come here too.
Whether, I get answer from Sai or not, no one ever must go through such an experience.
Especially since people who worship Sai don’t really know how he works.
I got confused, insulted, hurt and it went to the extent that I could not sleep until 1 or 2 A.M at night worrying why it all happened?
I am too old for all this Sai.
Please bless me to lead a simple life without bothering any girl.
The only guilt feeling I got because of this experience is that I bothered a girl unnecessarily.
I don’t need all this Sai.
I wish to keep away from all this.
I wish to do something good all my life.
My project for India is getting done!
Hold on for 2-3 days.
I wish to do little I can to help people realize the value of democracy.
And yes. I laugh at myself for such crazy way I connect dream with real life. This is me and I won’t change.
I will die but I won’t change this habit of doing every small thing only based on how Saibaba guides me and how Saibaba wants me to live.
This is my Guru. My Friend. My love. This is my Sai.
I know how my Sai works.
I myself know what ever I did is wrong in practical sense but I don’t want your practical life.
I want to obey Sai and I will face all insult, hurt and laughter of people for living based on Sai’s words.
Baba, I don’t mind all that happened.Its over now and I got past it. Infact, I wrote this article 4-5 days back and did not publish it as I felt why should I write about this girl? Anyway, I will be working on something useful in the days to come. I hope so.
Sai, heal my Mom by your grace.
Sai blessings
Venkat
