Sairam friends,
I could not recollect incidents during Shirdi Sai Baba’s life time where he speaks about how one should love and respect his/her parents. There are millions of Sai devotees who only see sai in a piece of printed photo or Sai statue at home or Sai mandhir. We think Sai’s only way to communicate with us is through dreams, chits and other divine ways. We never try to see that Sai lives and speaks to us in the form of our parents too.
Every time when my parents asked me to come out of this relationship, i kept arguing with them that i can’t do anything without Sai’s guidance and i have to be true to a girl. She must not think after years that i didn’t wait for her. Finally yesterday i realized she’s not worth waiting.
I came home, fell in my parents feet and told them i troubled them a lot. Probably because i have been living based on dreams sai blesses me with. I really don’t like to see other girls or think about getting married. It sounds too mechanical for me to meet a girl with a intention to marry and telling her i like you or don’t like you. That’s how this arranged marriage system works in our culture. For first time in my life, yesterday i felt too bad of myself for being too devoted to Sai and all the Gods and Goddess i love. My parents keep telling me be normal but i din’t want to listen.
Even now i keep loving Sai the way he has to be loved. I kept asking saibaba why did i meet her on your Samadhi Day to get hurt like this baba. May be that’s how it works. Sai wanted to accept my parents way of getting married. May be not. May be i have been a serial Sinner..he he…i would have hurt and humiliated women after women in my past several births to face such pain. You see. I am paying back.
I have been guiding hundreds of thousands of Sai devotees around the world in the past 9 years. I have seen girls coming out of relationship pains and happily getting married to a better guy. I have seen women writing me happily after they have their first child. I have seen men who lost their business getting back their life and writing me with gratitude. When i can make a change in several sai devotees in pain as a little servant of Saibaba, i cannot bring a change in myself. This is mostly due to my intense faith on Saibaba. I take his dreams as my life.
Yesterday i saw lord Ayyappan in dream through i don’t worship him much. I started going to Ayyappan temple as shes favorite deity of her family. I had few Sai leela which happened on sept 7th and sept 25th 2012. It’s after this leela i believed Saibaba has showed me a life. As sai has all rights to do as he wishes i accept it.
The pain i had past 3 month is worst possible and yesterday i suffered to core. Hope Sai helps me. May be its his own way of learning to live for parents happiness.
Sairam
Venkat
2/4/2013
“felt too bad of myself for being too devoted to Sai”
& “May be i have been a serial Sinner”
These are the 2 statements which I did not like in your post Venkat…Being a devotee and remaining devoted is really testing and indeed very difficult. The Lord keeps testing his earnest devotees more and more …again & again. That’s the reason why BABA s aid that only those mango flowers bear fruits which are able to sustain the rain and wind.
Once again referring to Sai Satcharita, it is only due to our past merits that we are BABA’s devotees……so never ever think yourself as a sinner…….
Just surrender yourself to BABA ,unconditionally…..have the FAITH whatever happens, happens at HIS will and is certainly the best that can happen to you…..and the SABURI, that whatever HE has given you will some point of time give you that which you desired.
OM SAI RAM
SAI KI JAI
Venkat
Some people are born to do good things or show light to others and you are one of those people but it’s hard for society to eccept them. In foregn countries many such people were considered abnormal, notworldly in the begining but later they became insipiratinal speakers and conduct religious workshops. Many aspiring people do lead a married life with children and conduct lectures or seminars or writing books, but in india it’s not easy to be religious and same time lead a normal life. I feel you are inspiring sai devotees by creating this website and blogs and helping many people. Your parents wants to have best for you like any other parents and wants to see you settle down. Because the problem is everybody in india and indian outside have become very materialistics and weighed everything by false critria of happiness.people do not persue their passions any more unlike in Usa where people do not care as much for the promotions or higher ranks or buy expensive houses to show others that they are well off and people eccept you as you are where as in india it’s not possible. Please be hopeful that sai will find you a nice girl who will support you and be with you in this work and eccept you, as you are.