Sairam friends,
In the past few articles, I wrote that I am wondering why some girls feel as if I am bothering them even if I speak to them casually. Today, I realized that the problem is with me. India and Indian girls are like that. They are cultured..ha ha..OK lets not laugh. They probably think I am “CREEPY”. All my life, I had this habit of speaking even to strangers be it a girl or a guy. I was like this while I was in Chennai and also when I was working in Mumbai.
When I started working in Coimbatore, I never faced much problem during the initial years. I started facing problems only after I normally started to speak to girls in my team and some girls whom I felt are good. I mean, I just know them because I see them every other day.
I went through a lot during Feb 2017 because of some girl had said something about me and people doubted me. Thankfully, they felt I haven’t done anything wrong. The problem is none in the organization even let me know all this was going on. I got over it. In the recent past, I realized something isn’t right.
Today, I realized something.
As I get older, its better that I remain calm and never bother any girls..I mean, I shouldn’t talk to them unless its really necessary. Because they are cultured….Once again lets not laugh. Because, they really are cultured.
May be, they thought I am creepy and trying them.So they felt uncomfortable even if I speak normally.
My Sister’s Daughter have been telling me for the past 2-3 days that I should consider moving to the U.S and settle here. Today, my Sister also asked me if I like to be here. I told her, that I love Amma and Appa and hence I like to be with them. She shouted at me saying that’s what has stopped you from growing in your life. That country and its culture doesn’t match you.
I told her that I will think about it because Amma really needs me.
My Sister also found it both funny and strange when ever I tell her the problems I faced at work because some people are conservative. Today, She told me this
“May be, since you got older, girls might think you are creepy and trying them even when you casually talk to them. So better leave India or don’t bother any girls”
As soon as my Sister told this to me, I realized that the mistake is with me.
I might either leave India and settle in a country where people aren’t too conservative or I must accept my life in India and behave accordingly.May be, girls really think bad of me and that I am creepy. May be, I am too bad. You never know.
After I came to U.S, I saw the girl at work in dream twice. I even told Baba that I came all this way to forget everything. But the dreams were strange and I better keep it within myself since Sai has asked me never to write about her.
Today, I realized even this girl would have felt I am creepy. May be, She would have thought I am bothering her or probably, I really bothered her by writing to her.
To be honest, I was and still confused why would I see some girl in office whom I don’t even know in dream. I was curious to know her as a friend but my intention wasn’t to be creepy. May be, I would have avoided this too and remained calm.
Well, In any case, why would Sai make me go through this? Sai dreams has always helped me and guided me. I was never once hurt, humiliated or felt painful because of Sai’s dreams.
When I go back to India, I should never see this girl or any girl for that matter. There are few whom I know and even to them, I should stop with a smile. Because, as my sister said, girls might think I am creepy or that’s how I sound to them. I should avoid talking to any girls unless I know them very well.
Even few hours back my Sister said its a good idea to move to U.S.
I told her, I love Amma and wish to be where ever amma likes to be and my Amma loves India. Well, I also like India but India is too “Cultured” and hence I am too bad for the very good cultured people of INDIA. ha ha…
Well, that’s how I understand. I have been hurt, humiliated and had enough for being myself.
When I go back to India, I wish to be calm and never bother any girls. I shouldn’t even talk unnecessarily to any girls at work.
This is what I have decided.
Sai blessings
Venkat
Write to venkat
starsai27@gmail.com
