Sairam friends,
I went early from work last evening to meet a Professor who is helping me to do Phd. Usually, I avoid going to Nagasai mandir on Thursdays but since he comes regularly to temple, I went to meet him. I also felt blessed. I din’t got space to park my car and had to go too long to park it in a road where none gets disturbed. I don’t like parking in small roads and bothering other vehicles. I walked back to temple, met the professor and felt good. I have to meet one of his friend in the University next week.
While I was walking in rain, I thought to myself that my life would have been better. I wonder where Saibaba is taking me. Sometimes, I remember my Father at work and get too depressed as am worried about his health. Hopefully, I shouldn’t loose my job because that’s helping me divert my mind. Its funny that I went through all this as soon as I returned from the U.S.
I am not able to be completely normal as when ever I come across this girl Sai showed in dream, I feel really embarrassed. I question my own purity and also the trust I have on Sai dreams. Its honestly confusing me. Anyway, as of now, the best thing I could do is make sure I never come across her. Everyday, I have this habit to going to all the floors to meet some guys I know for a minute. Yesturday, one of this guy told me that I never come to his floor and asked me to come once in a while. I told him that I shall come. I had been avoiding it because if I see this girl, I start to feel guilty and get upset with Sai.
All this because I did not act carefully and maintained patience. I must have been calm when Sai showed dreams. I did not act matured for my age. I realized it too late.
May be its good even if I lost the job because I don’t have to go through this. Out of sight is out of thought. I was happy in my Sister’s home. I would have remained there forever. Atleast, for another 4 month. My life would have been better. I don’t understand life when we have to leave our dear one’s since we have a job to do. As if this job is permanent. Nothing is permanent.
I will find a way to get rid of this mess I created for myself.
I suffered enough. Now, I wish Sai helps me move on as he doesn’t seem to bless me with clarity.
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
Write to venkat
starsai27@gmail.com
