Sairam friends,
I took my Camera to work and did some photography. The images were fair enough but there’s slight noise while recording video. I have to fix it. I also have to test video quality tommorow. I wish to make a Corporate film but I don’t see anyone is interested in it. Only when the need arises, people will hurry in the last minute.
During lunch, we went to Saibaba temple near office. I just kept Camera in Sai’s holy feet. I don’t wanted to take photos as someone will surely say that I am not supposed to take photos. So I always have habit of seeking permission before I take photo. I went inside Dwarakamai and found someone else had always done the sweeping work. I kept complaining to Baba “How can you let others sweep Dwarakamai? It’s my job”.
I asked my friends if it is really clean and they said that I will be satisfied only if I sweep. So I took the broom and cleaned it happily. It was really dirty. None can clean like me..he he…
Even yesterday, I was thinking that I exaggerated a lot as I believed our team might be moved to some other building which none likes. I thought why did I worry so much about it as nothing like that happened. This morning, someone asked me to go there. Seems I alone must go to the other place. I clearly denied but I am not sure why such a thing happens to me alone? Is Saibaba repeatedly showing me signs that I must not continue with this job for long? Another incident is already burning me alive and making me think its better to leave this place.
Anyway, as long as Sai wants me to be here, I will be here. Rest is Sai’s grace.
Already, I am confused the past 2 month. I don’t know how to proceed with my life. Now, there seem to be another problem. Today, Couple of people had been speaking about the Stick drawing I made on October 17/18th. Someone asked me “Seems you are making fun of all girls”.
The past one month, I completely try to avoid speaking unnecessarily to any girl at work. I did this because I don’t like the environment and felt its better not to bother girls and just speak when need arises.
So I was shocked and asked him “What do you mean?”
He said “I got news” and left it.
Today, someone else has been commenting that Venkat has written “Will you cry if I die” and shown it to all the girls. Once again, I was shocked and wondered “Why people speak about something I did for fun?”
What I did is wrong but I did that when I was bored, depressed and wanted to have some fun. I always make such stick drawings and have fun and everyone knew that. So why suddenly people start to speak about it? May be, they did not know the context I was doing it. Infact, I always wanted to delete the article I posted this drawing and today I deleted it. I wrote about some girls at work without mentioning their names and hence felt its not decent to have such aritlces online. I don’t want to hurt anyone. What ever happens, let it be between my Sai and myself.
I was really hurt and shocked by the way people spoke about it. Its like “Since I am not married, I asked such questions to “ALL” girls”
Who are these “ALL girls”?
I hardly speak to 5-6 girls at work and I simply made them sign the paper as they all know I make such stick drawings occasionally. So what went wrong? This is what I assume.
If a man is not married, what ever he does even for fun will be misunderstood. You will screw up my reputation speaking ill of me as if I went to every girl showing this paper?
I still don’t know who did this but I just know that Saibaba has been teaching me to be careful in this environment. I don’t like to talk to any girls any longer. When Saibaba told me something that isn’t true itself I kept asking myself “Why should I even speak to any girl in this environment?
I just wanted to be on my own and speak only when need arises. I don’t see any girls whom I can say are real good friend of mine. I have some guys who are my good friends and I am happy about it.
Today, Since I stayed back at work for long as I was too depressed. I went to my friends place and spoke to the Saibaba statue there for sometime. I put chits asking Baba if I should continue in this job or run away because its my dream to build a Startup. I asked one of this guy to pick and it came as I must be on my own.
So my other friend too asked me to put chits for him if he will get a better job. I put chits and it came as “He must continue job in same company”
He was annoyed and beat me on my back. I was laughing a lot and did photography of this Sai with my New Camera. This Saibaba is cute but the face has become dirty and must be washed with shampoo as its kept outside. In my home too, the face of Saibaba has become dirty and I plan to wash him with shampoo. Only after making the face look bright, I will take photos of my marble Sai statues.
I was telling my friend that I don’t like such culture in India where people comment on someone who’s not married. Corporate culture has been changing a lot but in some companies like where I work, things are too traditional. The other day, I was discussing the importance of having workshops in emerging technologies for every Employee atleast couple of hours, every Friday. Someone was telling, if they learn a lot, they will move to other company. So you keep people like dumbo just because you want them to sit with you right? So how will you do projects which requires such skills? If you don’t let others grow, you won’t grow.
Instead of focussing on what has to be done for growth, people focus on little day to day happenings and comment based on their own assumption.
I have faced enough insults in the past 3-4 years. Now, I am totally fed up. Wish I make a Short film about what ever the beautiful, cultural nation made an unmarried man go through. If this is the case of a Man, imagine what people will speak about a girl who’s not married beyond a period?
I know so many girls who are still waiting to be blessed with the right guy and they worry so much about thier life. Their parents too worry a lot about their daughters life.
Please don’t speak ill of people who are not married as if those who are married are perfect and pure.
I hate this environment but on thinking hard, where ever I go in India, I will face this. Sai also has asked me to be calm. So I shall be calm as long as I can.
Its after all a small incident but I have to write this because these narrow minded people have killed several people with their words and pathetic thought process.
Sai…Sun Raha Hai Na Tu? Help me to survive in this “Marriage Nation” Saibaba
Sai blessings,
Venkat
