Marriage, Separation and Divorce – Words to heal

Sairam friends,

Today, I was coming around the holy Dhuni in Dwarakamai in the evening. There was no space in the parking lot for Two wheeler and suddenly devotees started parking vehicles near Dwarakamai. One girl was about to park her scooter exactly in-front of the steps of Dwarakamai. So I told her “Baba, there are steps here”. So she parked else where. I asked one of my friend who is so crowded to day and he said it’s because of a wedding happening in the marriage hall behind the temple.

For those of you attending a marriage or who are getting married, “May Sai be with you”.

Kindly move on to other articles – 5 reasons why couples must live in harmony?

Carry on with your event and enjoy because this article isn’t meant for you!

I was thinking about few issues I never touched in StarSai such as marriage getting canceled after engagement, divorce etc. Now a days, I get few mails related to separation. Most of the time, it goes like this “I want to live with my Husband. We got separated before …years etc”. Some mails are too depressing for me to read. Stories about how even the second marriage did not work for few people are really hurting. I usually don’t reply such mails for 2 reason

1. I don’t have a solution as I am also as ordinary as you
2. All I have is words to heal but my words won’t change your life. It can just make you feel good for few minutes.

For people who’s marriage got annulled or canceled, please do not think about past. Several devotees tell me that they face issues after the engagement got over and they are not sure if the marriage will happen. I want them to remember Sai baba and read Sai Satcharitra. Let Saibaba do what ever is good for you and your family.

Firstly, Let me clarify with few words to people who are considering to get divorced

Take some time and do not take decision in hurry

There are some people who take decision within few days that their marriage won’t work. This isn’t right. Hold on few more days and see if things gets better between you and your soul mate. Please don’t use chits to ask Baba should I leave him/her and later regret for doing it. Chits don’t know the problems in your mind. So speak out and be clear about what you expect from your husband/wife.

Why should Women bear it all?

In one of the spiritual book I read, it is said a Women must bear no matter how bad her husband is. This is because we believed in Pathi vratha Darma. A Women who serves her husband with devotion is considered equal to God. If your husband isn’t too good, try to adjust as long as you can. The same applies for men too. If you are not happy with your wife, give her some time. When people write me about problems in their marriage, I don’t know whom to suppot? So better I take a neutral stand. Please do not hurry to get separated. Speak to your parents as they will guide you better. Probably, it takes some months to gain true love that you deserve.

Further, adjusting what ever your husband does isn’t possible these days. Saints changes according to the trend happening in the society. This is my personal belief.  It might not be suitable during various situations to continue living with a guy when he is really not good at heart. At the same time, please analyze if your decision is right and how you will proceed with your life?

If you are already separated and Divorced, keep your mind at peace

I personally know one of my Sai friend who got separated from her husband. After couple of years, they both met, spoke and understood they must live together forever. This may not happen to everyone. Firstly, I don’t have any clue on how to guide devotees who got separated without divorcing and still expecting to get back to their husband/wife. Worship Sai and keep remembering him. Believe that your life will be good. That’s it. I again cannot assure anything because all I have is humble prayers for you.

Some women do not really want to get back to their husband but they look for a better guy and desire to marry again. I have seen some people are able to find a good soul matter the second time and I have also come across some people who suffered a lot even in their second marriage. What ever it be, please do not loose hope. I am pretty sure, Sai has some good plans for you. The reason I am writing this article is because I wanted people who are divorced to believe that Sai Baba cares for them. In India, it’s not easy to lead a peaceful life when you have gone through such personal problems. You alone know what you are facing and hence these words comes from Sai.

Baba has proved that he takes care of Women who don’t have a husband.

The best example is Radhakrishamai. She came to Shirdi after she lost her husband in a young age. She lived in a small hut and served Baba. She was truly an amazing human being. She took several responsibilities such as cleaning Dwarakamai, painting it with white wash every few days, cooking for guests who come to see Baba, washing vessels etc. All this, she did with love on Baba and Baba also encouraged it.

The same applies for Men.

I once met a very very old man in Sai Baba temple. He usually come’s to temple and stays for 2-3 days and goes to another place some where in India.

Once he told me

“You must have Mother and Wife. Else you won’t have any one to take care of you in this world”

I know some men who lead a very pure life and they take responsibility of their family.

Even in the U.S, the percentage of single Mom and Dad is continuously increasing.

A request for people who are about to take decisions

If you are about to take decision to separate or divorce, do it only if your wife/husband is too bad to tolerate. If the reasons are silly and arose because of anger, please re-consider your decision.

I am supposed to help Sai by encouraging people to live together and live happily . So let my conclusion be this

“Try your best to live in peace and harmony”.

I don’t practically do any favor to people who go through such problems in Life and I don’t even know what to write them to make them feel better. All I do is make them believe that Life is going to be good and it just takes some time.

Keep chanting Sai Sai Sai always in mind.

Please listen to Sai Baba Aarti regularly. You will get internal peace.

Om Sai Ram

Venkat

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