Sairam friends,
One of my favourite movie is “A Beautiful Mind” directed by Ron Howard. Russell Crowe strikingly portrays real-life of John Nash, a Nobel Laureate in Economics.
Nash is a genius who’s famous for Nash equilibrium in Game theory. He was hired by the Pentagon to crack encrypted enemy telecommunication.
To enjoy the movie, you must learn about the mental illness John Nash was going through
“Nash’s mental illness first began to manifest in the form of paranoia; his wife later described his behavior as erratic. Nash seemed to believe that all men who wore red ties were part of a communist conspiracy against him; Nash mailed letters to embassies in Washington, D.C., declaring that they were establishing a government. Nash’s psychological issues crossed into his professional life when he gave an American Mathematical Society lecture at Columbia University in 1959. Originally intended to present proof of the Riemann hypothesis, the lecture was incomprehensible. Colleagues in the audience immediately realized that something was wrong.
He was admitted to McLean Hospital in April 1959, staying through May of the same year. There, he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, a person suffering from the disorder is typically dominated by relatively stable, often paranoid, fixed beliefs that are either false, over-imaginative or unrealistic, and usually accompanied by experiences of seemingly real perception of something not actually present. Further signs are marked particularly by auditory and perceptional disturbances, a lack of motivation for life, and mild clinical depression”
Yesturday, I suddenly thought of myself. What have I been trying to prove in the past 18 month. I am telling that Sai showed a girl in dream. Someone whom I don’t even know much about. I also keep on writing about several other dreams Sai blesses me with.
Since its my own experiences, I believe it.
If someone else has told me such dreams, even I would have doubted them. So nothing wrong in people calling me names.
They don’t trust me because they don’t know how saints uses dreams to communicate with their devotees.
Having said that, only I know the pain of living between dreams and reality. It’s better to die or run out of this world than living a life trying to prove that my dear Sai’s words can’t be my imagination.
Fine. Let’s keep that I have imagined all those dreams or its all a hallucination.
Here’s a dialogue from A beautiful mind which makes me feel I am in similar state.
So what will happen if one fine day, I conclude that all the dreams I experienced about this girl are hallucination? That, its not for real and I had actually tried to live in an imaginary world? That will be like hell for me. One of the reason I always wanted to tell these dreams to this girl is because I wanted to understand how it relates to her life. Why should Sai make me go through all this? When ever I walk, roam around or have food, I suddenly have this fear that I will be misunderstood to have a mental illness if I can’t prove these dreams.
Having said that, Sai must have one reason for me to go through this dream vs reality experience.
Sai has made me realize the pain people in depression and mental-illness would be going through.
Only when Priyanka Chopra writes about depression, people realized that it happens to anyone. Be it rich, elite-class or celebrities, everyone has chances of going through depression or mental illness.
There’s another beautiful scene everyone loves about this movie. Nash being very unique, don’t understand what love is? So this girl explains him how big is love?
Alicia explains the meaning of love
It will be one of the biggest failure in my life if I can’t prove my dreams were really from Sai. Sometimes, I try to understand if I am for real? How am I expecting anyone to trust me? No one knows the relationship Sai and I have. No one understands how Sai works. There’s none who could help me.
I only have to trust Sai will open his eyes someday and prove for himself to the whole world that I am real.
My dreams are real because it came from a saint who has no reason to fool me.
I will wait until I die to get an answer from Sai.
I trust Sai.
A request – Do little you can for people who are depressed or mentally-ill. Its really a good karma.
Sai alone can understand my mind.
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
