Sairam friends,
On Wednesday morning, I had a very strange dream in which Sai convenyed this message
“I will cut away all the bad news from you”.
I did not hear these words but some dreams from Sai will be strange and in the end, my mind will get a message. Its hard to explain such dreams.
I started to work.
I tried my best not to talk to anyone because I wanna let Sai know that I am not happy with what he did to me. After couple of hours, I couldn’t control, spoke and had some stupid small talks. I had complete control over this girls issue because I am facing this for months together. Only recently, its getting into my nerves.
This is because Sai has done a lot to me through dreams in the past 2-3 month. So I can’t digest what went wrong in this issue. Why should I face this pain Baba? If the dreams related to this girl had not come, I would have happily gone to office, did some work, had some small talks and come back peacefully.
These days, I get embarrassed if I come across this girl any where. I start to speak to Sai in my heart “Baba… Why you did this to me?”
I hate summer so much that I had decided to have lunch inside the campus. I always like the place near window. The other day, I really wanted to sit near the window and have lunch. But since this girl was in the adjacent table and I pleaded my friend to remain in the other side. He told me,”I know why you are not going there”. I replied, “Yes. Because I feel bad of myself”.
This may be a small issue. I had some dreams about this girl and wrote this to her. But to me, its hurting me deeply because what ever I do in Sai’s name must be meaningful and pure. Nothing that I had done trusting Sai’s words in the last 13 years has let me down to this extent.
Today, I really don’t wanna go out for food. My friend wants to go to the shop we usually have food but its moved to another location. He also added that its better I agree to go out than getting embarrassed if I see this girl around.
I went for break with some of these guys. When there are too many people around, I like to stay away from everyone and think something deeply. I am fed up with life and wonder how I can still laugh? Even having fun showing my teeth isn’t right because am I leading such a good life?
One of my friend who sweeps the main hall in Saibaba temple regularly called up and requested me to be in temple to help another guy who does service as he won’t be able to come to temple. After many days, I sweeped the main hall of the temple. I felt really happy.
I found two little packets inside the trash and got shocked that some devotees had thrown away Sai’s udi in the dust and dropped it in my pocket. I never know what’s inside these 2 paper covers. I just assumed Sai’s sacred ash will be inside.
Later, I distributed prasad in Dwarakamai and was standing outside the temple.
I suddenly remembered the two little covers I got along with the trash.
I opened a paper cover and found few White flowers were kept inside.
My friends told me, some devotees had kept Red and White flowers to Saibaba to seek his blessings. Since you got White flower, you are blessed.
I told them that I actually took these paper covers while sweeping the main hall, assuming there’s Udi inside it and don’t wanted to drop in the dustbin.
I throwed away the other little paper cover down saying there might be red flower inside it.
The guy standing near me, took it again for he wanted to confirm what’s inside it.
Surprisingly, there was some Udi inside the second paper cover.
I immediately felt blessed and ate all the Udi..he he…
I reached home only at 10 o clock.
While having dinner, I found why my Mom did not ate well?
She told me that she felt like fainting and had breathing problem before having lunch.
I asked if why they did not even call me.
My Mom has managed on her own for few minutes and gradually got well.
We really can’t understand why my Mom gets such breathing problem often. She’s fed up with the medicines she’s already having and wanted to keep a limit on medication she has.
After having dinner, I realized the meaning of why Sai told me in the dream early in the morning
“I will cut away all the bad news from you”.
Now you know reason why I am obsessed with dreams. Sai had done such favours to me on several issues, especially saving my Mom and Dad when they are sick.
I told this dream to my Ma and gave her the while flowers I got.
I pressed my Mom’s legs and kept on asking her what happened to her. She told me that she’s just worried what I would do after her?
I can’t imagine a life without my Ma and Pa Sai.
Such words from my Mom makes me immediately get emotional. I wanted to laydown near my Mom’s legs but she will find out if I am upset. So came to my room.
These days, one after another, my parents are getting sick and having some issues.
Sometimes, When I am at work, if I get a call from my parents, I only get shocked until they speak well.
I told Baba, I don’t want anything in my life than my Ma and Pa.
I just need them for few more years. Please Baba…
I don’t know to live without my parents. I have never growup. I just got old. I have never imagined a life beyond my Ma and Pa.
I have not once desired to travel to the U.S though my Sister invites me often because I always feel its my responsibility to be near them. I don’t do any favour to them but I just feel they will feel good if I am near them.
I had always tried to be pure and obey Sai’s words.
I told Baba, let this girl marry the guy she likes as soon as possible because I just wanna prove Sai that I obeyed his words. That’s the respect I give for his words. I also feel I must not get embarrassed with this girl anymore. I lost my dignity and years of Sai devotion did not help me think twice and act. I must have been happy at work if I never bothered Sai’s dreams. Now, I can’t rewind it. Wish Sai ends this suffering from me soon. The only way out is to divert my mind on something more important in life.
I am happy Sai baba has saved my Mom today. What more I can ask Sai?
I love my Mom and Dad so much that I want them to be healthy and be with me for few more years.
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
Write to me
starsai27@gmail.com
Edit – I woke up too late today and couldn’t write any article. My Mom is better now by Sai grace. Last evening, I laughed a lot at work during evening having some stupid conversation. Everyday, I do a stick drawing and ask my friends to have a look at it. Yesturday, one of my friend warned me not to draw anymore. Else, he will keep a coin under it everyday like they keep for people who draw paintings on road. Probably since Sai saved my Mom, I was happy.
