Sairam friends,
Sai has finally proved that he is always taking care of me. I was going through hell right after I came back from the U.S as one of this guy din’t like me being on my own, fabricated stories about me and communicated to management. All this for trying to see if I can contribute little better.
Initially, I was angry on him and felt frustrated. Sai showed couple of dreams in which he asked me to see the good thing in everyone and never hate anyone.
So I cooled down and started finding what I lack?
I realized that I have been leading a very comfortable life in Coimbatore when the whole industry has changed vibrantly. I also started realizing the importance of official certifications. So I started working on certifications.
Later, I started travelling. I never go out of Coimbatore for almost 10 years as I always wish to be near my parents. Now, the situation makes me travel. I went to Bangalore for workshop and met other professionals. During one of this session, I saw people were able to recognize that I have indepth knowledge in some areas. That made me realize I shouldn’t be too negative that I don’t know much. Just that I was not implementing it in the place I work because I wasn’t allowed it.
I will be travelling to Bangalore again from March 23rd to 25th for 3 different conference and workshops. I basically do it to network. I enjoy meeting other professionals and students.
During one of such workshops, I met this girl Vrushali and kept telling her what she should no next and she was happy about it. She said that there are many youngsters who needs career guidance. I felt that in future, I will have a platform to guide students and professionals.
I was focused but kept distance from this guy who assumes being a lead means he could suppress me. The more he did that more I enjoyed it. I was acting as if I go by his rules.
Fortunately, though the management did not give me what I asked for they let me work independently. Since Sai also said never hate anyone for their cheap behavior, I tried to speak to him officially. I felt he isn’t that bad. He is feeling insecured? Why? He has done lots of work but why he is insecured about my growth?
Answer is simple. He don’t have in-depth knowledge in several areas we touch. He thinks, if he let me grow, I will be doing it. The funny part is, I was comfortable with him leading the team until he started bothering me. My attitude is different.
I compare myself with professionals in the industry in other companies. I feel bad that I don’t know few basics they have practiced for years. So I took effort to learn from the industry.
Something happened yesturday.
I helped the company to save some money. I mailed for approval and came home. This guy has mailed me alone asking why he wasn’t kept in CC in important mails and deliverable I do? I got furious.
I replied him keeping everyone in CC from CEO to V.P.
I clarified that I am here to focus on what I can do for the business and I never see him as a lead. I requested management to help me work in harmony with anyone. I also added, we both can co-exist as his skill-sets are different from mine.
For first 1 hour after sending mail, I was preparing myself and my bag. I thought management will be upset with me and ask me to resign. Then, I told myself its OK to loose job than allowing such low lives to show-off beyond their knowledge. I respect people who applies knowledge on what they do. Organizational culture has changed a lot. Idea and execution matters and certainly not your designation.
Later, I got an idea.
I had a good contact on Linkedin and recommended that we should pursue meeting this CIO based in Singapore. Within 30 minutes the CEO replied asking me to speak to another head regarding that.
I don’t like silly conflicts. If we earn our living through an organization, we should see what we can do to benefit them. That and that alone matters. Nothing else. If you are in product team, be an expect in what you do and keep enhancing your skills. If you are in marketing or sales, focus on business.
That’s how the story ends.
Sai’s timing was perfect. Sai saved me cross half the river. I am also not in hurry as I am neither behind money or a designation. I am thankful to the place I work since it has helped me live in Coimbatore taking care of my parents. So I have to do my part.
I am still nobody in the place I work. I do promo videos and editing. Earlier, I enjoyed promo videos but now I feel really embarrassed to film when employees are working. It doesn’t always sound good when a girl is working and I go film her saying I make corporate film. Even if I know these girls, not all will be comfortable while being filmed. I am OK with filming guys though. Probably, it has to do with the culture in the place I work. Initially, I enjoyed it but now can’t say that I don’t like doing it.
So I have to adjust as of now. I wish to get into other work gradually.
I never compete with anyone. I am just ashamed of my own ignorance that I don’t have expertise like others in the industry.
There’s a reason I write my story.
Many Sai devotees has wrote me saying they have pressure in work and they plan to resign job or already left their job. Well, do it if you have better option but think about your family too. Do what’s right but do it slowly. Do it with immense patience.
As of now, I say that I will continue to work in the same place but Sai has also asked me not to depend on the job alone for long. I started thinking what I will do after 10 or 20 years. Now it comes back to why Sai wants me to do Phd?
Sai don’t want me to struggle in future. Sai knows I am wasting so much time during weekends which can be used creatively.
Secondly, there’s another message in the whole episode.
The surprising part is why Sai kept saying never hate this guy who yelled at me and bothered me. I saw that he’s kiddish and not smart. He should have spoken well to me so that we would have worked well collaborating with each other. Now, I lost trust in him.
This basically is Sai’s way of teaching me never to have any ill feelings on anyone what so ever.
Be good to them. Be humble and polite.
Its a small life after all.
If we only do good irrespective of how others treat us, only good people will surround us.
To end this, I am happy that Sai saved me.
I am still struggling. I might loose my job if this guy continues to bother me because I also won’t listen to others easily. I am stubborn on what I wanna do. ha ha… Its funny that I became like this after I visited U.S.
Its my Sister’s effect on me. I saw her working so much and felt I must copy her atleast a bit.
I woke up at 3 A.M and can’t sleep. I messaged my Sister that I am worried and thinking. She asked me to go to sleep. I don’t know why I can’t sleep Sai.
Please forgive me for all my mistakes.
Forgive me for what ever sins I might have done to some girls in my past birth. I know this for sure. Else, my life won’t be so bad.
Hopefully, you will show me a way Sai.
Venkat
