It’s not what you offer Sai Baba but how you do it matters?

Sairam friends,

I did some work in office today and realized I am conveying things little harsh but I have to be honest. I don’t like it when people don’t transform themselves and take personal effort to meet the challenging market ahead of us. So I explicitly say that they must go through learning curve which some may not like. Atleast, not those who are on top. People basically think its all going to be fine but it won’t be. The whole IT ecosystem is changing. I am really worried about what’s going to happen to companies like where I work in the next couple of years?

I am also not able to be on my own and really find myself as a part of this place. In the end, I too don’t contribute much. So I leave it to Sai. I tell people about the future and the steps to be taken. If they don’t like me telling this openly, I simply remain calm.

Last year, I wrote this article –  IT’s Temporary

Anyway, I was chatting with my friend in his little jail-like room without windows. I just feel happy about his presence as I enjoy speaking to him. Later, he said that he will be going back abroad next week. I was upset about it. Infact, I don’t take my car to work in the morning, I happily chat with one of my friends while on his bike, and in the evening I come with this guy. We both speak on various issues while he drops me in his car every night in the Saibaba colony. Some friends are good to speak. Maybe, he will get really busy once he gets married. So I must get used to his absence.

Later, I opened an ebook in my mobile related to Sales and read it aloud. I told these girls that I am sitting there as I am bored. They were arguing with me for some reason. I kept reading and told them “I am practicing to speak as I wanted to become a Youtube star and the whole world will listen to me”.  he he…. They were irritated. I like this.

Today, It was too late for us to start from the office. There were none in the whole bay where the Saibaba I admire lives. Even the lights were off. So I decided to walk to the place and see Saibaba. I previously wrote an article about this Sai, took it offline, and mentioned in this article – Did you tie Rakhee to Sai?

While I walked, some part of my heart said “Maybe, Sai won’t have any flowers offered to him”. I was really telling Baba “Don’t show me yourself without flowers”.

Hey…. as I reached the place, I found dried Hibiscus over Sai. I touched him and examined as if I came there to monitor if the flowers were offered. hehe…I did not see any white flowers which upset me but at least this dried Red hibiscus made me feel that Saibaba is taken care of.  I touched the flowers and wondered what makes him special when there are so many Sai baba statues in my own home?

Maybe its the surprise factor that a Saibaba statue in the office is worshiped with flowers. I remained there for a few minutes as I like to remember Sai when nobody is around. I do the same in Saibaba temple. I sit in the terrace for 5 to 10 minutes alone in the darkness and speak to him whenever I go there to offer garland. Once, I saw a woman looking at me from the neighboring house window. It was least expected and embarrassing. Anyway, I  lifted this Sai in my palm and ……. My friend walked in asking “Are you looking at where it was bought?”

I told him “No. I simply see. I wanted to take him global” and I murmured in my mind “Devotees in over 30 countries would have seen him by now but he decided to remain calm.”

Anyway, as my friend was leaving, I moved away but kept thinking about why I did not worship the Sai statue? I simply went there to see if Sai is taken care of properly. This isn’t right on my part because Sai is for showing devotion. There’s this incident in Sai Satcharitra where Baba warns not to interfere in other’s devotion.

Who am I to test if someone else is offering flowers? I just felt a little jealous if there are people who like Sai more than me? Anyway, the white flowers were not there. Maybe this girl missed offering flowers today.

So I told Baba “Look. No white flowers…Beat her with your satka”. Haha….

I am laughing now when I write this. I alone take care of Sai and its just me. I am the best one na Sai? How stupid I am when I say this? Call it ego and I accept it. What else do I have in life? Let the world not call me a failure even in Sai devotion.

On the other hand, I appreciate devotion of Sai children. Sai likes such pure devotion. I made this at 1 o clock at night.

It’s not what you offer Sai Baba but how you do it matters?

It’s really easy for anyone to buy some flowers and offer them to Saibaba. You can give gold and silver to Sai. But is Sai expecting all this? Sai don’t want our flowers, dakshina or any other offerings. He just wants our love. So it’s not what you offer Saibaba but how you do it matters. Many times, I had offered flowers to Saibaba mechanically. I pluck flowers, do holy bath for him, and offer flowers. Did I even care to express my love for him? Doing pooja was merely a task for me. Only very rarely, I take enough time to offer flowers with an immense love of Sai.

I will clearly see the difference between the way I do pooja for namesake and rare occasions when I do pooja with love on Sai Baba.

A year back, I wrote this article –  Offering flowers to Shirdi Saibaba with love and devotion

And how can I forget my Sai friend Apurva from Jabalpur? I forced her to write an article for StarSai in 2014 January.

Assignment to my friend – Offer flowers to Saibaba and write about Sai devotion

Here’s her exam result!

I went to Saibaba temple and it was closed as I could reach there only by 9. I had a little prasad. Then, I spoke to my friend and came home. All the while, I was thinking that I must have worshiped the Sai statue. I reached home and after dinner, I decided to count the total Saibaba statues in my pooja place.

There were 3 big statues and 12 small statues. So totally 15 in pooja place alone.

Nowadays, the plant in my home doesn’t flower a lot. So I found that I had offered flowers to only 2 Saibaba statues.  I told Saibaba sorry for asking to beat this girl with satka because I myself don’t offer flowers with devotion regularly.

This has always happened to me. I find mistakes in others while I am not perfect.

I lost my devotion to Sai and it really shows

There was a time in my life when Sai used to do magic with me. Once, when I was in Mumbai, I slept off hugging the Saibaba statue in my palm. I mean, holding a little Baba in my palm and keeping him on my chest. In the morning, I felt a sensation in my palm as if the mobile phone is vibrating. I woke up and realized Saibaba has surprised me by waking me up by vibrating the statue. I got ready for work and could catch the train on time. This was totally unbelievable for me or anyone who doesn’t know Sai does such miracles. I don’t usually get attracted to such impractical miracles but it’s just a way Sai shows he’s “Living” with us.

On many other occasions, Saibaba has shown me miraculous experiences.

Nowadays, even if I hug the Saibaba statue and sleep, he doesn’t bother me. He won’t come in my dream too. I can clearly say all this is because I lost my devotion to Saibaba. At least, I can clearly say that my love for Sai is shrinking. What’s the use of getting jealous of other’s devotion? I must find why I lost mine?

As parents have health issues and I don’t know what Saibaba has planned for my life, I am more into my own worries than showing devotion to Saibaba. I started reading Sai Satcharitra but did not complete it. Nowadays, I read Sainath Stavan Manjari.

The only moment I discover that I am really devoted to Saibaba is when I go to the Saibaba temple near my office every Thursday night. None will be there with me and I enjoy that darkness in Dwarakamai. Thankfully, the construction is not yet completed and hence the tube light alone makes me feel isolated from the world. It’s just Sai and me.

Today, when I went near one of my friends, I found he was reading my previous article – Sai is busy with his good children. I told him, please don’t read in-front of me as I feel embarrassed. Every one of you comes to StarSai only by Sai’s will but when someone who looks at me reads it, I feel little embarrassed. I write my whole personal life here as if my life is an open-source software for all of you to download. Think about how you will feel if you are in my place? I can’t stop writing too because that’s my job. I work for Sai.

I openly accept my mistakes and what I am going through because every devotee at one point of time will be able to relate to my feelings.

I have tears in my eyes now since I don’t want to lose Sai from my life. If I become too practical with life, I can’t love Sai. People expect me to show some maturity but that will make me sadder. I must not change unless Sai wills.

I don’t know how long I can lead a life like this? I am really scared Sai.

Please show me a way.

Venkat

dit: I was feeling too sleepy probably due to tablets I have after I took off the tooth. I am a little worried and asked Sai if I should let this article remain or take this too in draft mode? As of now, I am letting it be here. I feel little guilty that I am bothering others and opened Sai Satcharitra if I should remove this article. It came to the story where Sai gives darshan as if he’s Lord Rama to the wife of a greedy bhajan singer from Chennai. And I saw this in Chapter 43.

The kind and merciful Sai Baba, said many a time the following sweet words in the Masjid –

“He who loves Me most always sees Me. The whole world is desolate to him without Me, he tells no stories but Mine. He ceaselessly meditates upon Me and always chants My name. I feel indebted to him who surrenders himself completely to Me and ever remembers Me. I shall repay his debt by giving him salvation (self-realization).

I am dependent on him who thinks and hungers after Me and who does not eat anything without first offering it to Me. He who thus comes to Me, becomes one with Me, just as a river gets to the sea and becomes merged (one) with it. So leaving out pride and egoism and with no trace of them, you should surrender yourself to Me Who am seated in your heart.”

I am totally fed-up with life and don’t want to add the additional burden of restricting what I wish to express on StarSai. As long as I am asked by Sai not to do so. I shall remove this someday if Sai hints me to. Let’s see…