Sairam friends,
I went to Shirdi Saibaba temple couple of Kilometer’s from my work place today morning and felt good about it. It was situated in a lonely place but I wish there are some trees around the temple. May be in future, few trees might grow and add good environment to the temple. The person who built the temple has invited me from the day they did Kumbakishekam but I wasn’t able to make it there. Today, I told him that this is the first time I come there and felt blessed. He gave me a Sai’s book and also requested us to have prasad. Sai was beautiful in this temple.
I shall write about this temple later on.
I kept doing some work with constant changes which was requested from someone in Mumbai and by evening, he complained about me. I got really enraged and shouted that they get all the work from us and behave so cheap to complain. I could not tolerate such people and felt I must clarify what I meant to say.
I get so nervous and felt its better to walk out n went out. After going out, I smiled to myself because I don’t want to create a scene just because I face injustice. So I came back in, cooled down and went out with my friends.
This episode would have happened because in every work place, such injustice happens but I personally realized, Its not good to get so nervous when ever I get face such situations. I don’t think I am going to change in the near future and if I am like this, I won’t be able to continue here for long.
I can either adjust what ever way I am treated or look for other ways to earn my living. I went to Nagasai Mandhir in the evening and just told baba to bless me with patience and make sure I don’t get nervous like this and shout. It looks so immature to do it and I have to change myself. I used to be very calm earlier but lately, I get upset when ever someone does such cheap politics to guys who work with dedication.
When ever I do any small video project, I keep my heart and soul in it. So this time, when things were misunderstood, I got really upset and spoke out.
After sometime, I realized I am not alone. So many might face such situation and they simply remain calm. So as long as I need this job, I must adjust. Being spiritual, I loose my control to adjust because I try to prove what’s ethical and right. Practically, this won’t be possible because everyone is right in their own way.
I just prayed Saibaba for 10 seconds in Nagasai Mandir saying let me not get nervous and so tensed like this anymore as people who don’t know me might not understand me.
May be I won’t change.
I have been like this for years. I remain cool and happy but when I face injustice, I get easily enraged. May be I not made for this world.
To tell you the truth, Serving Sai too is not easy. I have faced insults in past, present and also will in future.
When it comes to my work, I don’t have much burden like many others. Even people who work every minute of the day are able to tolerate what ever anyone speaks. I must learn from them and act accordingly.
I write so many good things to others but I myself don’t have ability to tolerate.
Sai, please show me your grace because I don’t know to be calm these days.
Please make me silent as before. I took two decision today. One is to continue freelancing work I was doing before taking up such regular job and second is to work on my project once again. I used to work sincerely every night and suddenly I left it simply worrying about my life.
Sai wants me to work on what I like to do and also be calm and live in harmony.When I get frustrated, I am not able to shut my mouth. Please let me know what to do Sai? I want to create my own Startup for long time now but never was serious about it. I work few days and leave it thinking when Sai has blessed me with a job I must be content with it and remain calm. All these experiences makes me feel I must consider doing it with in a year from now.
Venkat
