I feel bad that I can’t prove anyone how Saibaba has taken care of me

Baba,

I am really pleading you. I lost my peace of mind completely. I don’t know what went wrong over the years. I feel that I am trapped into something I can’t escape. Kindly show me a way Baba. I wish to leave everything and go somewhere. I have seen how you have helped me a lot through dreams. Even a small issue in my life was taken care. Its unfortunate that I can’t prove how Saibaba has helped me through dreams to any of my dear one’s. Not even my parents. There are so many incidents which could have happened in the past 3-4 years which would have ruined my life. Thankfully, you guided me every now and then through dreams.

Infact, I am not devoted like many Sai devotees. I have seen hundreds of devotees who believe you and they do a lot for you. They go to Shirdi regularly, they sing aarti sincerely and they do pooja at home. I have stopped almost everything that I did for you.

I have also reduced to go to temple during weekdays. Irrespective of all this, you have done a lot to me. The problem is that people don’t understand how Sai uses dreams to help them.

Wish, atleast before I die, I must write every single dream I experienced and how you used it to guide or save me from a disaster which was about to happen.

When I was in Mumbai in 2016, once you showed me a dream not to take train that day because I might be bothered by some men near me. I woke up and had no chance but to take train. Surprisingly, one of the room mate asked me if we should go by Auto and we went. These are small incidents which I have never wrote in StarSai. Now, I realize that its important to tell the world how Sai has taken care of me.

Similarly, Sai would have taken care of you too. Just that he’s telling me in dreams that he’s doing it and you people may not see how Sai has worked to protect you.

When I was very serious and getting tensed about taking my parents to U.S and doubted if we will get the visa processed, you showed me a dream to take it light, enjoy the process and never take it as a burden. Because if you will, we will be visiting my Sister. If not, we are going to be here and expect her to visit us.

I just don’t know how and why you have done so much to me irrespective of me being not so devoted to you like many other devotees. People assume that I am close to you but being close to a saint is a matter of illusion. There’s no way I could have got atleast this much in my life had you not guided me and taken care of me, my parents and my sisters family.

There are so many small incidents which I have experienced in the past 5-6 years.

For the external world, it could be very eccentric if I express everything. So I keep it within myself.

As I said, its easy to tell Sai leela to someone who’s devoted to Saibaba because they know Sai works this way. But its certainly not possible to tell how Saibaba has helped me to my dear one’s. This is because they are practical in life and don’t have time to understand how Sai works.

Today, being Mother’s day, I found something really odd.

If you scroll through any Social media sites or cloud messaging platform, people share several videos on Mother. I think that’s not the way you celebrate ‘Mom”. I have also made videos on Mom but that doesn’t make me good. As your parents get old, its hard to be really good to them. The question is  “Will you take care of your parents irrespective of their short comings?”

To be honest, irrespective of loving my Mom so much, I don’t think I have really made her happy because of me.

But Sai has done what ever he could to take care of my Mom and Dad.

Sai, you have done a lot and I just feel bad that I can’t prove it to anyone.

No one trusts my dreams.

No one even understands if I say this is one of the way Sai works.

No one even knows how Sai works subtly.

Most of us believe what we see in real.  We don’t know what lies behind.

Wish I write a book on Sai dreams exclusively because after 100-1000 years people must know this is one of the way Sai works.

Simply saying that “I am a Sai devotee” has become fashion these days. Understanding how Sai works is important.

I hope someday, I will be able to tell the world how Sai has taken care of me.

Sai blessings

Venkat