Sairam friends,
My Sister and Brother in law took us to Downtown this evening. I had Hot Chocolate and we all walked in the streets in this small American city. Thankfully, at the last minute, I took my camera from my room and did some photography.
I took the featured photo as I liked these couples crossing the road holding palm as they got the green signal to walk. Seconds before, when I blurred them, you see the below photograph of a beautiful statue. You can still see them in the background.
I love this lady with the Dog as her companion. That’s the relationship she has built with love.
Similarly, the couples in the other photograph are a representation of relationships men and women build.
The green signal could be few guidelines you could use to make sure your relationship is truly “Love”
Here are a few Green signals. Ask yourself if these green signals glow in your life.
1. Ask yourself if your relationship is pure?
These days, Men and Women hang out with a clear understanding that they are not going to marry. Well, you certainly can hangout but terms like ‘Casual fling” are new to me. Maybe, I was busy with Sai and didn’t know what’s happening in our cultured country.
If not to an extremity of Causal fling, there are youngsters who get too close beyond a limit.
Even if you are committed, the physical relationship before getting married isn’t a good idea. So try your best to avoid it. (Don’t feel guilty if you had gone through it). My intention is to help girls and guys to remain pure. To an extent, I am broadminded but marriage as an institution has its own benefits.
2. When you are in love, please tell your boyfriend or girlfriend about what you want to do in your life and career. You also have your own dreams. Don’t you?
Please don’t tell me your dream is to have a child and run your family. That isn’t a bad dream but even your kids don’t want so much attention these days.
Most women never tell their husbands what they wanna do with their career or life in 5 years or 10 years. So after they have kids, when they desire to focus on their career, there are chances of them getting into problems. This eventually leads to divorce.
I know men who are egoistic don’t want their girls to grow ahead in their careers or be smart in what they do.
Men won’t reveal it before they get married. Especially in India, you will learn what they think only after you are married.
Similarly, If being a Man, your desire is to take care of your parents, tell it on the face to your girl. Ask her if she’s going to like it or at least adjust their presence.
3. Discuss clearly with each other on what you would do if you can’t marry
In the Indian context, parents decide whom you should marry. In fact, they might hurt you and you might have to hurt them during marriage talks at home. So decide clearly on what you would do if you are going to break up.
( I am not orthodox when I wrote the first point that you should not have a physical relationship even if you are committed. Some couples had to break up to convince their parents even after they had done everything. Can they tell to their parents?. So I am not orthodox. I am asking you to think twice before you get carried away. )
Don’t be an emotional dumbo. Don’t be sentimental and take such breakup oaths.
“I will remain unmarried forever”.
“I can’t live without you”
“I will die if you leave me”
“I will not marry until you marry”
These sentiments apart, just clearly decide what you can practically do to lead a good life.
You should learn to celebrate breakups and separation in life
I know its painful. Give yourself some time.
Let’s say. When your guy/girl gets close to someone else or says that they can’t marry you, initially you might feel painful. Its a matter of time. Gradually, it’s going to change for sure.
Time is a healer.
4. Understand that not all who are truly in love end up getting married
At times, you might not be able to marry the one whom you love. You might even realize the guy/girl you like for years are not the one who you think they are. Some people will change and show their real face later in your life. Are you going to be their slave?
You must say “Get lost” and move on with your life.
If you are having other obstacles to get married, please decently separate and believe that you will find love in someone else.
There could be other guidelines too. I wrote this today since I desire that Men and Women should find true love and have a peaceful married life.
Saibaba likes it when you are truthful to someone you love.
Sai blessings
Venkat
