Sairam friends,
In 2005, I used to be too religious. I would go to Saibaba temple every evening and coming around Dhuni – Sacred fire of Sai for 3 hours. Some devotees in Temple also used to ask why am doing it? I shall keep it as a secret in this article because irrespective of why I did that, I don’t like the fact that I was too religious.
Many of you might assume that I am immensely devoted to Sai.While that’s true, my devotion doesn’t involve doing pooja, reciting Aarti or even going to temple for the sake of worship alone. To be honest, I go to Saibaba temple everyday because I like to be in a different environment before I reach home. I light lamp, worship Sai and do any small work in temple occasionally. But the rest of the time, I will simply be roaming here and there.
To the surprise of many devotees who assume that I know to sing Aarti well, I don’t even sit inside temple when Aarti is going on. I always remain in Dwarakamai or walk around.
Having said that, I admire devotees who love Sai immensely.
If 1000 devotees are coming to Saibaba temple, you can find just 2-3 devotees who love Sai immensely.
Sai devotion is being confused with exhibition of one’s devotion
I have seen few devotees in temple who behave very stupid. They will be pasting sticker of Shirdi Saibaba all over their vehicle. They will have a Whatsapp Chat group for Sai devotees and sending “Quotes of Saibaba” along with photos. They will showoff to everyone as if they alone “Invented” Sai bhakti and all of us are fools seeking Sai’s blessings. he he…
Nothing wrong in doing all above. But one must also be down to Earth.
If you are devoted to Sai and showing frowny face to people who respect you, there’s no point in being proud of worshiping Sai.
There’s a guy who comes to temple regularly. He behaves little odd always exhibiting his devotion on Baba. Three years back, he came to me and asked “Get me your number. I will send you Sai’s quotes everyday”
I very humbly denied saying “I don’t like such Sai SMS etc”
Some of you might be having Whatsapp group for Sai devotees. For Gods sake, girls must be very careful with such Whatsapp group because anyone can access your Phone number. There’s this Aunty in Mumbai who wanted to add me in her group. I requested her not to do so.
I will tell you the reason.
Let’s say you are little depressed today. I am sending a positive message from Sai. It might motivate you. The second day, you are already worried about your problem. Lets imagine, I send another positive message. How will you feel? You might feel motivated but your expectation that Sai must do miracles and solve your problem will be too high. What happens when this expection grows over a period of time? You will get more depressed and annoyed with Sai or atleast on the person who’s sending such messages.
You know how Saibaba treated devotees when he was alive?
He had touch points with them very rarely. Sai won’t always advice them or guide them. Sai will give a hint and stop there. Sai won’t even speak in a meaningful way to few devotees. He will tell parables – Short stories and only the purticular devotee whom the story is meant for could understand that. Others will be blinking on what Sai is trying to convey? Its up to the devotee to understand what Sai expects and behave accordingly. Did Saibaba say some positive messages to one purticular devotee every other day? Certainly not.
Sai wants you to be practical in life and not expect his favour for every issue and certainly not as fast as you desire.
Sai’s grace requires patience.
Some devotees behave really stupid. They showoff too much as if they are so much devoted to Sai. My humble request is this..
“If you want to do something, do it with your Job, With your business or even through any other activity you could do in your free time. If you work in a Bank, help customers genuinely with a smile. If you work in a Government organization, try not to accept bribe. If you work in Metro waters, your Job itself becomes good karma. I am telling this just as an example.
If you work in a Transport corporation, focus on how you can contribute for the convinience of passengers.
Understood what I mean?
You don’t have to be devoted to Saibaba to please him.If you do your duty properly and remain honest and good to people whom you serve, that will make Saibaba more happy.
I work in an IT organization and my chances of going good to many people is very less. I could see if the organization benefits from what I do. Even if that’s not possible, I will be satisfied as long as I don’t bother others.
Today, I was very happy as I completed an Online course and got certified. Even if I do my Phd, its going to be in Management. So I have decided to work on more courses since it will help me be prepared.
But post lunch, I started asking Sai in my mind why did he showed me dream of this girl at work? I asked him “Can’t you see how painful it is for me now?”
You must understand why I have been mentioning this issue right from September 2016?
When I say that Sai showed a girl in dream, I sound like I have gone nuts.
Untill Sai proves that he’s the one who blessed me with such dreams to this girl, I will only consider that my behaviour is stupid.
Practically, imagine how painful it is for me? Here’s a girl whom I don’t even know. Sai showed her in dream and I reacted to it. Its been over a year now and Sai don’t even bother to say me a word on why he showed her in dreams over and over again?
Everyday, I tell Sai that its not fair on his part to let me down like this. I don’t even have courage to face this girl and feel like running away from this place. Today, It made me get too depressed. I told Baba, for my age, for all the experiences you have given me, I would have maintained some patience before sending her the first mail.
I did a small mistake and regret it for all these month. I can’t get rid of it because that’s how powerfully intense are Sai dreams. None can understand its very very difficult to come out of Sai’s words. I don’t know what to do now.
I have been very clean and was proud that I am pure in all possible ways. Even the girls I had been in relationship in past are in my good books now. I thank them for getting rid of me because probably, I am not the one for them and they understood that at the right time.
I feel like crying while I write this late in the night. Why I had to go through all this Baba? I have only done good to you and anyone whom I come across.
I always believed that if I do good to people and if I behave properly to others, that itself will be like a ritual I do for Sai.
Now, I feel that I have not behaved properly. I must have kept all these experiences within myself and never told about it to this girl and also my friends. All this shows that I am not really devoted to Sai as many of you assume. I am vulnarable and that’s why I am suffering.
The lesson you can learn from my life is this.
“Don’t be too devoted to Sai because all that Sai expects is that you must focus on your duty and be smart”
Don’t be a stupid like me and regret later.
Even if Sai appeared in dream and conveyed something, analyze the situation and then, react to it.
Most importantly, never have assumption that Sai will bless you if you show devotion by doing any pooja or rituals. Even gentle remembrance of Sai Sai Sai in mind will make your life good.
I am feeling sleepy now.
Sai blessings
Venkat
