Sai, Even if you don’t say anything, I heard it. You choose to love me

Sairam friends,

I created a video and dedicate it to Sai children who truly love him. At times, you wonder why Sai is not speaking to you? Is Sai really showing his love back to you? Find out and fall in love… It’s a bit lengthy. Probably, I it takes more than 8 minutes to tell Sai that I love him from the bottom of my heart! Scroll down if you are too busy to read the article.

(Note – I found many of you like to watch it in your mobile and share with your friends. So here’s the download link – I hope it works – Even if you don’t say anything, I know you love me Saibaba  ( Click on arrow in top right corner). I am making another video & since I had to sleep by 1 o clock at night, I am done with the script and audio part. Tonight, I shall make the video and editing. Give me sometime. It’s gonna hook you for lifetime in Sai’s holy feet. I could not sleep until 3-4 A.M as I kept asking Saibaba to guide me properly. I got hit on my knee while offering flowers to Sai on terrace. I am not supposed to limp in home to avoid complications. I hope it gets healed soon. Continue reading…)

Today, I was little worried at work and continued to remember the past but can’t remain calm after a while. So started speaking to everyone. I sent a smiley to a girl over chat and waited. She said “Hmm”. I told her “Good. Now you know all I expect is a Hmm”. She asked “Did something happened to you?”

I told her “Well, You know my stupidity. I am like this and if you are my friend, you must accept it”. She smiled. I could imagine she hit her head on the desk and smiled. No other go right? I like irritating and poking people like this. I helps me forget my worries.

You too must try. Only problem is your friends might think something happened to you.

Later, One of this guy called me and said his Sister’s new born baby has jaundice and his sister too has pain after caesarean. I was little worried as he was very excited a week back when the baby was born and left office happily to see the baby. I forgot to pray Sai but most of the time when my Sai friends tell me pray for me, I say “Yes” I shall pray and I forgot to pray when I am in the temple. Later, When I reach home, they ask “Did you pray for me?”. I lie them saying “Ya.Ya. I did. Baba is gonna take care of you”. he he…

May be, its not a lie. If Baba is in my heart, then he must have listened to you even the moment you asked me to pray right? Makes sense?

But yesterday, I had a big argument with Sai Baba as I was upset over something and wrote this article – I feel that Sai doesn’t live in my heart

My argument continues till this moment but what to do? He’s silent. He’s so calm and composed. He’s cool. Ofcourse. He knows I will calm down and doesn’t bother to tell me any thing. Not even a word. Not even a word na Sai? Because you take me for granted. You think I am a dumbo. He just wants me to write how sweet he is but he won’t let me taste his divinity. He just wants me to write how good he is but he hardly cares to do good to me. Am I harsh? I gotta be because he hurt me.

Thanks for sending your children to console me Saibaba. I know you spoke to me through your them

Actually, I did a mistake and felt Saibaba must have not let me do it as I don’t like to bother any of his children. I felt that I have disturbed someone unnecessarily . Hence, I had wrote that “I am considering stop writing in StarSai”. So some of my friends messaged me asking what happened? I could not say much.

Only in the evening, I felt really touched and happy as I received this mail.

Meanwhile, look at the beautiful Red Saibaba sent by my Sai friend Vahidaa!

Sai lives in your heart…Always

Dear Venkat

I am Kavitha.

I wish to write to you so many times but today only our sai given me this opportunity to write to you. Thanks to sai. I am one of the follower of your wonderful site “star sai” for a long time. Its true so many devotees still getting benefits from your articles about our sai (here benefits means feeling the presence of our sai in our life)

Each of your article makes me to feel …not only for me but for everyone to feel that we are connected to him

Congrats for your video its really nice……
I wish you to do lot…even our sai too wish this from you ..

Everyday, I wish to read your article first and then only I do my routine work. It becomes my habit of reading your articles about our sai and the way you link him in your day to day life. Yeah I accept you are writing articles more about your life but it always about our sai in your life, I felt sai lives in your heart always.

I can feel that you are so depressed due to some reasons. If you are bold enough to give solutions to other problems in name of sai surely you will come out of your depression with help of our sai who guide you always.

Don’t worry I’ll pray for you and your family.

Take care. Be happy.😃

Sai Ram

Regards
Kavitha

My eyes were wet by the time I completed reading this.

My Sai friend, Sangeeta kept asking me what happened and I told her. She said, Its nothing and I must move on. She added, You never know how much Saibaba loves you and hence he will take care of you. That’s when I was inspired to create today’s video.

Madhusmita too messaged me this

“Please never think to stop writing in Starsai. I have already mentioned many times you don’t know may be but you are helping and guiding many Sai children…so keep doing the good work.. thank u so much for all your inspiring writing in Starsai”

Now, Lets make a video for Sai.. Its called

Even if you don’t say anything, I know you love me Saibaba

Here’s the transcription of the video

This is Venkat. You are listening to the world’s smallest network for Sai devotees! StarSai.com

I have done a lot in my past.

I eat, sleep, fall in love, get hurt, get depressed, come back to you, ask for wealth, happiness and good health.

I have only done everything for myself

Because. I am selfish

I am honestly “Selfish”

All that I do in my life is for Myself.

but this one..

This one is for you.

This one is for you Sai.

Some of my friends told me, Worship Lord Ganesha as you need his blessings for your video. I said, fine. 

So here’s Ganesha.

Look at these flowers my Father made. He used to make garland every single night and offer it to the temple in my place.

Oh Lord Ganesha, I don’t have time to spend for you but accept my Father’s garland and bless me to make beautiful videos for Sai.

Even after 1000 years, a Sai devotee must listen to this and say “Someone called Venkat loved Sai immensely that he expressed his love by speaking”

Just by speaking!

If I am a Poet. I would have wrote Mantra in praise of you Sai,

If I am a Musician, I would have composed songs for you..

If I am a singer, I would have sung your glory all my life.

If I am an artist, I would have used every single color on this planet to bring you to life through my paintings

But I have no such skills.

All I know is to speak. I speak like a stupid and that’s what people say I am.

So I speak…Accept every word that I utter now as an expression of my love for you Sai.

Because, this one..

This one is for you.

This…Love..Is for you.

I don’t know how to live and hence, I caught hold of you.

I caught hold your holy feet and never let you move

because if I leave you, I might be left alone with none

You are the only one Sai.

Are you not the only one for me?

I don’t know how to love and hence I fail everytime I fall in love with these girls

I probably know how to love you

because you have responded to my love.

You are the only one who responded for all the love I show on you.

Don’t ever think my love is untrue

I can open my heart and show you

That you live deep in the walls of my heart

Accept this expression of this little servant

Because..

This one

This one is for you..

This “Love” is just for you..

Sai..Are you listening to me?

Are you listening to me Baba?

Can you look into my eyes and say a word.

Can’t you see I my love?

OK..You are busy with millions of devotees.

All your children are important for you.

Not me.

Because I am nobody for you.

Because they know to sing Aarti and I don’t know to sing.

That’s OK na Sai?

I wish to play a song for you..

Just for you Sai..

Chaahe tum kuch na kaho, maine sun liya
Ke saathi pyaar ka mujhe chun liya
Chun liya, maine sun liya

Even if you don’t say anything, I heard everything.. Baba..

That you chose me to love me…

You chose me, I heard it

Every breath I take, tells your name.

You know.your close devotee Shyama used to sleep near you in Dwarakamai.

Every single breath he takes actually is as if he chanting your name..

Even when he is fast asleep.

If a person goes near Shama, they can clearly hear this sound

Saayeee…Sayee..Saayeee..

That’s how much Shyama loved you.

Similarly…

I have you in my breath.

In every single breath I take, I say “Sai.Sai..Sai”

Every move I make, I take your steps

Where ever I go, I look for you

I feel happy when I come across your photo or statue.

May be in a shop..or a car ..

But Even when I don’t see you, I know you are with me.

I feel happy when I see girls who love you.

OK..Lets have gender equality here

I feel happy even when I see Men, women and Children who worship you.

Every sight I see, I wish it is you

What ever I see, i wish, it becomes Sai

But you made millions of women to distract me

and I fall in love with a few of them

Call it karmic!

Oh that’s OK.

I come back to you

because none wants me.

May be you are too possessive that you want all my love for yourself

and you have been taking my love right from the bottom of my heart and take it deep into your soul

I know my love has reached your soul

I wrote this with so much smile and laughter

because I know you will go tell these girls

“Venkat has Sai” with him

Mere pass…Sai hai!

Sai hai na..

Now, I say this to you Sai,

I am in love with you because you are the only one who responded to my love.

You are the only one who loved me when I din’t ask for it

This is Sai’s unconditional love.

Everyone who listens to this is being loved by Sai

Purely and divinely

Sai, bless everyone of you child who listens to this

Bless them baba.

I made this video with a Microphone I stole from office.

Not because I can’t afford it but because I can’t wait to buy one

and My love can’t wait until it reaches me.

I am speaking in my room secretly as my parents shout at me if I sleep late

But they don’t know I can’t wait to tell you ‘How much I love you”

Accept my love and love of every devotee who listens to this

I know you are speaking to me

I know you are expressing your immense love on me and everyone who listens to this.

oh..

Your children complains that they can’t hear you.

Sai, I can..They too can..

Even when you don’t say anything, I have heared everything.

I know you chose to love me..

You chose to love the one who’s listening to this with pure heart

because

This one

This one is for you..

This “Love” is for you.

I love you Sai.. Truly..Madly and Deeply..

That’s it..

So what inspires me to write this?

Right from this afternoon, I am humming this song at work in my heart. I just wanted to listen to the first few lines but could not since everyone were busy. When it was 6 P.M, I told my friend, I like this Pehla Nasha song and started to search for it online. I asked him “Will people think that I am not working if I listen to songs? He was staring at me. I myself answered “As if I work if I don’t listen to this song” and played it.. He he…

He said, keep it low. I agreed and said “Only first 3 lines because I love this voice sooooo much and I am doing a creative project”. I can’t say its for Sai.

Pehla Nasha

Chaahe tum kuch na kaho, maine sun liya
Ke saathi pyaar ka mujhe chun liya
Chun liya, maine sun liya

Even if you don’t say anything, I heard everything 

That you chose me as a lover 

You chose me, I heard it

Pehla nasha, pehla khumaar

Naya pyaar hai, naya intezaar

Kar loon main kya apna haal

Ae dil-e-beqaraar

Mere dil-e-beqaraar, tu hi bata

First intoxication, first spirit 

This is a new love, a new longing

What should I do with my state

Oh restless heart

My restless heart, you tell me…

After writing this, I worked on the video. I quickly spoke and almost recorded most of the voice over script in one go. Then, I decided to edit. It was already 2. There was once again huge argument at home. I agree, its my mistake. I have been sleeping at 2.A.M every night these days. So shout at me like anything.Its always my mistake. I told them, don’t get so angry with me like this. I will sleep early tomorrow. It was hard to make my Ma and Pa understand that my health is good enough and they must not worry like this.

It was 4 A.M when I finally slept and woke up at 7.

Is making these videos so important? Not really but I where will I show my pain? My fear. My frustration of what life has given me?

Should I run away from the world? I don’t like what’s happening around me. I have been humiliated and insulted. I have been bearing this for years. This video is made for someone, in some corner of the world, who loves Sai the way I do. Even when nothing happens in my life. I tell the same words to Sai..

Sai, You are my heart…You are my soul!

I heard it. You chose to be my love

Love,

Venkat