Sairam friends,
I slept off little early as I was too tired. I hugged a Saibaba’s book and slept deeply.
You know, the past 2-3 days, I kept telling my friends at work that I am going to do a trick to go to Shirdi again. I will show off as if I fixed a meeting with client and everyone thinks I am contributing and will go Mumbai. And the real plan will be to go Shirdi. he he..Anyway, I don’t wanna do it as its like poking into others work. So I shall keep calm. My friend will come next week and I wish to make a corporate film which he has been asking for long time. I am not sure how its going to come out as I did not got hold of the right script.
In the morning, I had a wonderful dream as below..
I am in Shirdi and staying in a small hotel. I wonder what makes me do it but suddenly I walk out of my small hotel and get into a Star Hotel which looks sophisticated. As I walk in, I am looking for a place to brush my tooth and walk all the way to 3rd floor. I see the interior of the hotel is very ordinary. I realize that even this Star hotel interior like ordinary hotel only.
May be, Saibaba conveys this to make me understand I must never expect to live a luxurious life. Many times, I say this to my friends “I wish to lead a sophisticated life. Like..in Super cool places like Beaches, Casinos, Golf course”. I say this for fun but probably Saibaba found out that these are actually my real intentions too. LOL.
The dream continues..
I walk into another hotel and over hear some devotees from Chennai speaking in Tamil. A girl is telling “There’s this blog called StarSai”…I walk ahead in veranda and I hear a guy telling his aunt “I visit several Sai blogs regularly”.
I will tell you something…Since I write about where I go and what I am doing in StarSai, even people who have not seen me are able to recognize its me and assume its me. I was really hurt because few days back, a girl saw me in a public place and kept telling her friend over phone
“Yes. I think its him because he is reading Saibaba’s book…He don’t do much..He simply writes articles for Sai”.
I kept calm and composed. I know I just write articles. I am ordinary too. Nothing special about me. You too can do it.
Then, the final part of the dream…
In this dream, I go to a very sacred temple of a Goddess. I light 4 lamps in the temple in a plate. Then, I light another 2 lamps separately near the Goddess herself. I see another girl lighting lamps and I am instructing her thus.
I waiting after my 2 lamps gets emptied of oil. Then, I pick the empty earthen lamps, clean them with a cloth and put it inside a bag. I tell the girl “I must take it to home and light the lamps again. Else, there will be a problem”.
The girl laughs and asks me “So you have lots of money? Is it?”
I look at her and wonder what does she mean?
I woke up and understood this…
Saibaba doesn’t want me to have attachment on money
Two weeks back, I was really frustrated because of of my friend transferred huge amount to me mistakenly as her Father in law’s name was same as mine. She messaged me and asked me to send it back to her. It was easy for her to do a mistake in click of a button through net banking. I had to spend 2 days to send the money back to her. All through this experience, I kept telling myself “Too much money only adds to problems in life”. I lost my peace of mind all that weekend because its a burden to carry others money in my bank.
And about Women..
Go to Shala – School of Saibaba in Shirdi
I will tell you about Radhakrishnamai.
You can be a girl and think that you love Sai too much. Agreed but no other women can serve Saibaba the way Radhakrishnamai did. Every alternative day, she used to clean Dwarakamai when Baba goes to sleep in Chavadi. She literally white washes the ceiling. She used to cook for devotees who come to Shirdi.
At times, when any male devotee comes to see Saibaba, after a while he asks him to go to Shala – School. This is actually Radhakrishnamai’s hut. She will give some odd work to do. Let’s say if I go there and think “Oh what a beautiful lady is this Radhakrishnamai?, Sai will excuse me because he knows its natural to admire a good looking women. ( Radhakrishnamai being a widow is beautiful but Sai protected her as a Mother)
What if I misbehave with her or perceive her in a wrong way? Even if I have any bad intentions, will I be excused?
If I go back to Saibaba, he won’t even let me inside Dwarakamai.
Saibaba tested.
He has tested all his devotees who are close to him
and I know he is testing me to.
I am not sure if I have passed his test but I am working on it. Sai tests if his true devotees are unattached and not moved especially by these two aspects – Money and Women.
One of the resolution I took is to see all the these girls as kids. As I get old, I can’t behave matured like other guys too as too much maturity will harm my happiness. I can atleast change my perception. So after few painful incidents, I finally wanted to work on the way I look at girls. Let’s see them as kids. Being a Father doesn’t hurt because I still can be affectionate with them but without having any wrong intention if at all its wrong according to Sai.
Sai, bless me to see your children as my own child
I slept early one single night and when I woke up and opened Saibaba’s book where he said this “If you take a responsibility, do it thoroughly or don’t do it”.
I know he’s telling about few projects I understood. Many of you ask me to sleep and relax but remember if I have to do something worthy, I can’t play around. I have to work for my dreams.
Coming back to people call this a blog, StarSai runs in a blog I personally see this as “Shirdi Saibaba temple of Humanity”.
I just write articles but its not easy when I can express even the innermost thought process happening in my heart. It takes guts and purity to express this. My life is a open source software for all of you to read. Earlier, only people who know me used to comment on me and now, even strangers I come across do it. I accept it because what I write is not for today. Thousand years from now, someone will be reading this.
My words comes from Sai.
Tata
Venkat
