Saibaba Saved my Father and silently listened to my harsh words

Sairam friends,

I kept scolding Shirdi Sai Baba once in a while yesterday that he really is not bothered about me and adding to that simply making me believe that he is going to make my life good. I told him “Can’t you do this small thing for me baba?” . I asked him “What can I do with your Udi? You simply send me Udi prasad from Shirdi to make me feel your presence. I had never ever been so upset with Sai but somehow this time, I was really angry on him. I told him, Its been one year since you assured me in dream but you can’t fulfill it.

“My Small desire which Sai can’t fulfill” is one of those articles I regret to write because StarSai is to spread glory of Shirdi Sai baba and not to hurt him. I purposely wrote it because devotees must learn about Sai’s ways. Being a Sai devotee is not a big deal. Now a days, Millions of people  seems to like Shirdi Sai Baba but what matters is ability to withstand our Faith and being true to Sai even when we feel disappointed.

I never stopped loving Sai but I am also human and Sai must take care of me. This is basically a very amateur, Childlike devotion when I pray Saibaba to do something and get angry on him when it doesn’t happen. I don’t think I will grow beyond this devotion because I am ordinary Indian. I am not a spiritualist or the one who can live detached.

Shirdi Saibaba silently listened my harsh words

Every Sai devotee has this immense faith in him that Sai will do good to them but at one point of time, we all get upset with Saibaba. So what are harsh words? What ever we say against the holy Saint who’s only goal is to make our life better is harsh. We are always supposed to Praise Shirdi Sai Baba and  surrender in his holy feet. There are devotees whom I know love Saibaba beyond what happens in their life. Even I am like that but when he I Imagined that he has not bothered to do a little favor, I felt really pained, looked at his portrait and told him “You don’t care for me Baba’.

Anyway, It happened 2 days back and I could not stop myself from going to Sai Temple last evening. I went very late, lit lamps and sat in Dwarakamai. I took pictures of few Shirdi Sai Baba statues in the Shop near by. I was laughing with my friends saying “See how Saibaba looks different in each statues”….idhu paaru…idhu paaru….

Saibaba Saved my Father

Then I distributed prasad and came home. On the way too I was so depressed and felt why all this has happened. Then, I came home. My parents know I will be really restless if Internet is not working at home. My Father told me “Your Amma shouted at the Telephone service man to fix the the phone saying its been 10 days she had spoken to her daughter. So he immediately came and fixed the phone”.

I told them he is nice man, expects 50 Rs and we know him for over 10 years. I felt satisfied at least Internet is working after a week.

Then Amma said that my Father had fainted last night, he could not bear and laid down in the bathroom itself. Then he has come to our room and slept in floor for 10 minutes.

I was really shocked but shouted at my Father why he din’t wake us up. He said that he don’t want to disturb us. My Mom told him that its wrong to manage by himself and he must have called us for help.  Actually, I saw my Father awake but thought he is simply drinking water and slept off. I told him at least when I woke up, you must have told me. He kept smiling and said I don’t want to disturb you.

I really got irritated by his behavior and shouted at him for taking care by himself and telling us the next day.  He called one of my aunt – His sister in U.S and told her everything by phone. I told him, everyone will tell that we were sleeping while you fainted and got up on your own.

I told him , Here after, if something happens to you tell us immediately and he agreed.

I came inside my room and lit lamp for Saibaba. It was mechanical, I simply lit lamp to Thank him for saving my Father.I really din’t pray with any emotions. I simply remembered the dream I had last afternoon.

It was as if myself and my parents are going to Thiruchendur Murugan Temple. We were standing near the Valli Cave. I am telling my Father that he must not go into the Valli Cave since he is old and might have breathing problem. I woke up and felt Sai is indicating some thing wrong and that’s why went to Annapurna temple.

I told my Father “we gave for Abishekam in Bhadrakaali temple, I went to Annapurna and Sai. Someone has saved you.”

I know its Sai who saved by father but he never wanted to take that name for himself. This is a saint who never wants anything for himself and never shows us that he has really favored us. Here is a Saint who keeps silent after doing the best he can for us and our family.

I lit lamp to Sai…

For giving my Father enough strength to lay down slowly without falling down while he felt like fainting.

For blessing him to wake up in few minutes and come back to consciousness.

For blessing me with my “Father” when I woke up the next morning.

I am one of those heartless fellow who doesn’t actually realize the purity and greatness of Shirdi Sai Baba. I simply stick to my desires and trying to use Saibaba for my own welfare. May be I have to come out of it and see if I can change the way I perceive Sai. But why should I change? Sai accepted me for what I am.

This is Venkat and This is the way I behave.

My words would have been harsh to him but I love him dearly and he knows that. I see my universe through the eyes of Sai.

So why did Saibaba saved my Father and silently listened to my harsh words. That’s his way. He really is doing good to us but never shows what he is doing to us. That is why I am thankful to God for blessing me with such a sweet Saint. The Saint who keeps thinking about us day and night. Who keeps working for us every minute and every second. The Saint who’s leela’s are unimaginable.

Sai is silent. He listens to my harsh words and also praise alike. That’s the sign of real Saint. What good deed I must have done in my past several births to have Sai as my Friend, Guru and Love.

I have got Sai

Love,

Venkat