Spiritual guidance for Girls who drink

Sairam friends,

Here come’s the truth. There are Sai devotees who drink. No doubt in this and they can’t give up drinking even when they go for a pilgrimage to Shirdi. Some hotels in Shirdi has bar attached to it. I haven’t been to Shirdi before 5 years and not sure about the exact statistics.

Many people who read StarSai for first few days assume that Venkat is someone over 60, must be saintly etc. Not surprisingly few devotees write me “Guruji”. Do they also think I wear saffron color dress and a turban on head or probably, I carry a Trishool in my hand and roam across India from temple to temple, live in mountain caves, cross rivers, meditate under the lonely tree, eat fruits in forest.

To live like a saint isn’t easy. To be a Guru is not all possible by a man who has desires. I am very much a part of this world and do not want to portray myself as above.

If I say drinking is one of the biggest sin on planet Earth and someone who drinks is really bad, then I must be hurting Sai devotees who have habit of drinking.  Sai devotees has all good and bad habits. We are all humans and we pray Sai as we love him but some of us are not able to give up few habits which may be harmful for us.

My intention is not at all to claim that someone who drinks is bad . There are good people who drink. There are people who don’t do all shorts of tactics to hide the fact that they do drink. I appreciate friends who openly tell their family *at least their wife that they drink. There’s nothing wrong in drinking but unfortunately a casual drink becomes a everyday habit. Without their own knowledge, they get addicted to it and they will never come out of it for life time.

There must be people who drink regularly and they continue to worship Sai.

Sai is fed up with all of you. He is not going to say “don’t drink” because Sai knows you are into it totally. Are you going to listen to Sai?

There are millions of men who drink but why did I choose to write an article for girls who drink? You might ask, so do you mean men are allowed to drink and women are not supposed to drink? To me, its the same. There’s no difference in you being a man or a women if you are in to a bad habit. You might face some kind of problems due to it. I don’t differentiate between a girl who doesn’t have such habits and a girl who drinks. There are girls who don’t drink but they may not have other good qualities.

 My concern is about the other problems a girl might get because of her drinking habit.

1.You may be perceived as a girl who doesn’t live with any ethics.

2.A girl who drinks is considered worst kind of human being in India. (This is not true. There are good girls who drink and my point is only to help girls to give up drinking without telling its bad. Its not bad. Its just something you can live without)

3. A women who drinks has more chance of getting into relationship with rude/bad/wrong/stupid Man. Thus, you will suffer due to relationship problem.

4. A girl must always be alert with clear mind and drinking doesn’t allow her to be. So she might get into other problems.

5. Drinking might spoil your health.

( All the above points also suits a Man who drinks. I am just concerned about girls who drink because I can’t bear it. A girl must be know for her purity. Her love and her good habits)

So what’s Spiritual guidance for Girls who drink?

Nothing. I really don’t have anything to guide. I don’t have a ritual, pooja or mantra for you to recite to give up drinking. My guidance is simply a request.

“Please try your maximum not to drink”.

Give up drinking. If not.

At least

Give up drinking with friends who will only use you for fun.

Give up friends who want you to drink.

Give up the bad habit of drinking

or

at least

Give up your bad companion.

Many girls I know are really good at heart. They come from good family but somehow they start to drink for fun with friends, they go for party, they gradually start drinking regularly and it goes on. At one point, some girls are not able to give up drinking and it gets worse.

I am not running an counseling center to guide people who drink. All I have is some words to show the path of light. Its up to you to try your best possible ways to give up drinking. Most importantly, keep away from friends who makes use of you just for fun of drinking and partying etc. This will only lead to more pains in life.

My experience:

I might edit this part in future but as of now, I don’t mind sharing this to you. I have few friends who drink once in a while and they call me to bar just because they like my company. They want me to be with them. That’s it. I never smoke or drink and I know, I won’t drink for my life time. Just that I don’t like it. At the same time, I don’t want to call myself so good and my friends who drink are bad. They are right in their own way and their justification that it helps them relax.

Few weeks back, My friends called me also to be with them while they drink. I had gone once before a year. At least that day, I was not feeling so bad. But this time, I hated everything…

1. I don’t like darkness in the bar and these guys drinking as if its the worlds biggest pleasure.

2. I was thinking about my own problems and what’s going to happen in my life. It was too depressing. They kept asking me “You have a problem. You are not talking. You are not happy etc”

3. It was a Friday evening when I desperately wished to go to Annapurna temple and Nagasai Mandhir which I missed a lot.

4. These are some of my best friends and they really expect me to be happy. Somehow, I din’t like the environment especially since I wanted to see the world out. I like fresh air and walking in road. I like going around places and consider it as a really irritating thing to sit in a place and chat.

One of my friend noticed me and said “You are chanting”. I smiled and said “Yes”.

I was chanting “Sai…Sai..Sai” in mind.

He said “You are the purest guy I have ever met”.

I said “Its not like that”

Sometimes, I like to be with people who wish me to be a part of their moments but my life is different. I can be any where and I can be myself.

The reason, I wanted to share this to you is that, many people start drinking especially because their friends or relatives consider it as just a small happiness in life. They don’t realize by persuading someone to drink, they are sowing a seed for worst pains in future.

If you drink. Fine. You drink. Do not make fun of people who don’t drink and persuade them to drink. Its a sin.

Anyway, My friends just wanted me to be there with them as they like me talking. I simply make fun of people and do some imagination. I had some snacks and tried my best to be there for couple of hours.

Finally, I started at around 8 and reached home. I was really feeling narrow minded, depressed and as if the whole evening is wasted. For a man who has no interest in drinking, its easy to say “Don’t drink”.I can see from your perspective, its different.

My request is to take the first step to give up drinking so that you can do many other good things in life.

Today, I went to Ganesha temple, met my friend and we had been to Mall and did some shopping. He was speaking about StarSai and I told him, “StarSai is my life. It gives meaning for me to live”

I came home and started writing this article for over 2 years. Why should I take so much strain in writing an article to help girls come out of drinking or any bad habit?

Because I care.

I care for their Mother’s.

I can’t bear when a Mother mails me innocently that my daughter is going out with her friends and drinking.

It hurts me to core.

There are so many Moms and Dads who are bearing the pain their children gives them due to bad friends and habits.

Please take a small step to think what’s good for you.

There are no spiritual guidance for someone who has a bad habit or probably, I don’t know about it.. There’s only one’s own effort to give up bad habits.

I can ask you to read Sri Sai Satcharitra, Keep chanting Sai’s holy name and Listen to Aarti regularly. But can you control when you have urge to drink or involve in any other bad habit?

Couple of years back I wrote below article…

Sai Meditation to build better yourself and Nation – Support Project India

You alone can change yourself.

Shirdi Saibaba can show you a way.

You have to take effort and change for good.

Once again, Girls who drink are not bad. They just have a habit which needs to be given up and its possible.

If you really love Sai. Anything is possible.

When I write in StarSai, I sometimes become a Mother, some times a wife, sometimes a father, mostly a child and sometimes myself. Every word I wrote in this article is an expression of your Mother. She wrote to you through me.

This article is dedicated to “All the Mother’s who write me with love and affection on their daughter”

Venkat