Sairam friends,
This morning, I was a little upset at work because every time I suggest something at work through mail, it becomes an issue. Today, I clarified that I will write like this and cannot change myself. The way I tell things are not too formal. I try to keep my words too casual even in official emails because I want people to grow up. Times have changed and people still expect respect and formality in every single mail you draft.
If you are not aggressive or expressive, you can never be in business. I wanted to avoid all this and hence simply focus on watching some conference videos because it at least helps me learn something. Not sure how long I could do it because even this makes me feel odd. I am happy that by next week my friend will be back in India and I can spend some time working on his plans. None knew that every small thing I do is based on Sai’s instructions. If Sai tells me to do it. I do it. If Sai asks me to stop it. I stop. There’s nothing in my whole life that I have done without Sai’s instructions.
A couple of months back, I tried to leave this organization and prayed Saibaba if I will find a way but surprisingly, a week back, Saibaba assured me in a dream that things will be fine. Today, when I was upset, my Sai Friend Sri Vaidhekhi sent a Saibaba photo with below quotes
The stars may fall but my promises will stand and be fullfilled – Shri Shirdi SaiBaba
That was really like Sai telling me not to worry about what people speak and remain calm. As long as I write for a good cause of the organization, I am OK with it.
My friends and I went to the Saibaba temple near the office during lunch. I found some beautiful red roses in the shop and wanted to offer it to Saibaba. Felt really nice as I kept the Rose to a little Saibaba outside temple. He’s very cute to see. I sat in Dwarakamai of this temple and did nothing. My desire is to read Sainath Stavan Majari from my mobile. I have read it in past but reading it aloud in English is a little odd. I don’t mind doing it at night as none could see me in the darkness.
In the afternoon, I made a stick drawing making fun of these girls practicing Dandiya for Navratri. I sent to a few of my friends and complained that “None of you are appreciating me for my drawing”. I demand a positive response for all my stupid drawings. I called it “Venkat’s Dandiya Tips”. I wrote comments for each step with my horrible hand-writing which none could understand. So I explained to this girl what I wrote and made her laugh.
Venkat’s tip number 2832 –
“If people don’t naturally laugh at your jokes, force them to understand and make them laugh”
I really respect this girl a lot and see her as my good friend or probably a little Sister as she kept teasing me calling me a ‘Brother” from Rakhi fest. I don’t mind calling anyone as a Sisy but it must come from my heart. I cannot see any girl as my Sister unless it comes truthfully from bottom of my heart. I must mean it. Many people misunderstood me when I wrote about Brotherphobia . Its a matter of pure affection on someone who must make you call them a Brother or Sister rather than namesake framework to avoid complications.
Today, I messaged her that she’s the only girl in the whole office, I speak about StarSai though she isn’t much into Sai devotion. She told me, she stopped believing in miracles due to some reason. I told her, things will be fine as I know she has some issues.
The past 2 days, Whenever I see any girls, I think of my article – Sai, bless me to see your children as my own child
I make them look like kids in my imagination and its funny to see them. He he… Some actually behave like kids too though they assume they have grown up.
Anyway, by evening, I was really depressed and had some pain deep in me. I don’t feel like going to Saibaba temples on Thursday especially since it will be crowded. So I asked my friends if we can go to the mall. We went to the mall in their bike and I felt really good. I came home at 10.30 and lit a lamp to Saibaba in my room. I told Saibaba to show me a way. I wanted to get out of this place and go somewhere else but I feel helpless because I am dependent on this job. After a few incidents, I don’t like to be here Baba. I feel really painful and don’t know what Saibaba wants me to do.
Maybe, since Sai knew that I will feel like this, he assured me a week back in a dream with very clear instructions that things will be fine.
I am going to lay down now. I have some pain in my mouth as there’s some wound in there. Don’t know how it happened? Getting scared Sai. Heal me soon. I have to arrange Navratri at home tomorrow and will be helping my parents to arrange the statues. Someone at work asked me why I don’t invite them home? I can’t answer her. Sometimes, Its better to be calm.
Sai bless
Show me a way Sai…You know what happened and am not able to understand life. Let me live peacefully in this environment or get out of here if that’s right for me.
Love,
Venkat
