Sairam friends,
How will it be when my Mom and Dad often tells this me “We are not going to be there for you always. What will you do after us?”
Are they telling me the truth or the fact that I should accept the truth that they can’t be with me forever? I am not asking much Sai. I am asking for my Mom and Dad. That I need them few more years. I don’t think this is too much to ask for all the devotion I have on you.
This is my situation at home for the past one year.
Today, I went to Saibaba temple from office very late at around 8.45. Night Aarti was going on. I lit lamps and prayed Sai.
I told Baba that I am really upset about this girl and I wish to come out of this. She’s going to marry the guy She likes someday. So what’s the point in worrying like this? I am tempted to write about her but after I reach home, I feel really bad of myself for writing about a girl without her knowledge.I deleted the article I wrote yesturday.
While I was in temple, I got pen from flower Shop Anna and wrote in two chits
“Sai says its OK to write about her”
&
“Sai says never write about her”
and dropped the chit in Sai’s little Paadhuka.
(I never encourage devotees to use Chits to understand what Sai wants us to do. It’s a bad habit because we can’t judge properly. Today, I can’t control myself and hence dropped chits)
I got the answer that its OK to write about this girl. I told Baba”This girl knows about our Site. If She comes here and reads all this, She will kill me Baba..Enna maatti vitraadha Sai. Yerkanave maanam pochu”
Anyway.
As far as I have experienced in the past 13 years, girls who are happy never comes to StarSai.
Most of you who read StarSai regularly must be going through some difficulties in life.
I assume this girl is happy these days. So I will write about her and delete once in a while because we must be careful. I regret for even letting this girl know about StarSai. Its another mistake I did. I thought She’s a staunch Sai devotee. Later, I realized She’s like my Sister. She believes in Sai. That’s it. She does her work and probably remembers Sai in her mind occasionally.
I had a very old friend, Kavitha to whom I told about my devotion on Sai. She replied me sharply
“I believe, God helps those who help themselves”
It was like slapping on my face. I believe this girl might also have such a perception.
Thankfully, like my Sister, this girl also won’t even have time to remember StarSai.. he he…So I can write as I wish. A platform to blaber all that I am going through!
Why I respect this girl so much?
I get angry when 3 of my friends called me Phychic but today when I was in office, I really felt that I have a problem. When ever I argue with my parents, they tell me “You keep on repeating what you say that you are right”. The same habit seems to be expressed in this girls issue also.
Look how many times I again and again repeatedly write that I am embarrassed! I am hurt! I am feeling painful? There are guys who have more problems than me and they take it very light. Compare me to them? I keep on repeating the same problem over and over as If I have gone mad.
Even if there’s a small issue, I will completely focus only on the problem and not the other good happenings in my life.
Why can’t I simply leave this girl alone and completely forget that Sai even showed her in dream?
Well! There’s one reason I can’t do that.
I have dated every single dream Sai showed me about this girl in the last 18 month. But some dreams are undated.
Approximately a year back, I had a dream as below.
I see this girl and my Mom in the hall.
She’s telling me “You forgot to take care of your Mom”.
I woke up with shock as soon as the dream came. I can’t bear such dreams and started fearing that something would happen to my Mom.
But I took it positively as a message from Sai that I must be very very careful when ever my Mom gets sick.
Age related health problems are very different. My Mom doesn’t have any major health issues but even a small health problem like pain is making her feel like fainting or She has problem in breathing.
Three month back, My Mom started saying She has pain in her chest. I immediately shouted at her saying we must go to Doctor. This time too, the cardiologist said her heart is functioning very well. I felt really thankful to Sai for that.
Later, my Mom told something is hurting in her eyes. When we did checkup, Doctor’s said we can checkup again next year if Cataract surgery is necessary.
I even made fun of my Mom when my Uncle and Aunt had come home last weekend that She’s completely alright but she suddenly does all drama as if she will leave me and go.
This dream made me stay near my Mom when She needs me most
Last week, My Mom was slighly sick but she assured that She will be fine. Somehow, I remembered the dream of this girl saying “You forgot to take care of your Mom”. So I told my Ma that I won’t go to office and we must immediately go to Doctor. All the way, my Mom was normally speaking to me and my Dad in the car. When we reached the clinic, we found the Doctor will come after an hour. My Mom behaved very strange. She started shivering and felt like fainting. My Dad held her safely.
I drove them to another Clinic. Meanwhile, My Mom said, I will leave you all and go. When my parents say this, I shout at them. I scolded her, asked her to hold my palm and said, She will be fine and She’s simply fearing too much.
Finally, we reached another clinic and got treated. Thankfully, My Mom got well in an hour’s time itself.
My Mom kept on telling me that its good that I took off and accomponied her because all the while in the car seems She was thinking what will I do without her and She must live for my sake.
I was able to take care of my Mom last week especially since I believed every single dream Sai shows me with this girl.
I get curious because of all these experiences. Why should I see “this” purticular girl in dream? I don’t even know her and She don’t know me. Probably, She thinks I am insane.
Now tell me what’s wrong in me asking Sai to answer me why I often see her in dream? Atleast, Someday, I will thank her for all that Sai baba has invisibly done to our family through her.
My Mom is the greatest gift Sai and Lord Murugan blessed us with. I wrote about her story in the book – Sai Mother
Today, I was really angry on this girl. I told Baba, if She thinks, I am so bad, why should I care so much for her?
Later, I remembered that She’s right in her own way. All these experiences are between me and my Sai.
Atleast, I am taking care of my Mom because of her words in the dream.
Its 12.27 A.M when I complete writing this.
I pray Saibaba to bless this girl with all happiness for She has been an instrument in making me take care of my Ma.
Let her consider me as insane or fool.
My experience with her are divine and I will respect her all my life.
I am feeling sleepy now.
Sai, bless me with a beautiful dream.
Om Sai Ram
Venkat
