Sairam friends,
As I start to have some grey hair, I realized, I would have been little careful in reacting to Sai dreams. The past few days, externally I seem to be OK but deep inside, I keep asking Saibaba why he showed me dreams about this girl and made me go through all this suffering for the past 8-9 month. I did not ask for just dreams. It just came and I trusted these dreams. I kept asking Sai to answer me why all this happened? Why should I be embarrassed like this? I don’t even need all this experience.
I called up my Sai friend Pratiksha yesterday while I was in temple. She told me to ask Sai to help me live in reality and not give me dreams which are nothing more than illusion. I agreed to her and did spoke to Sai to give me some clarity and if he blesses me with a dream, let that not be mere illusion. Let him only show dreams which are going to come true. I feel left out by my own Guru when I really embarrassed because this is not the way I behave to anyone.
I can easily forget it and come out of it being practical but none understands my experience with Sai.
I have felt Saibaba’s presence through dreams on several occasions. He has saved me and my family through dreams. I can’t ignore him just because he let me down in one issue. I can only continue to ask him to safeguard me from future embarrassement.
These issues have been haunting me for over 9 month. If almost became mentally sick and confusing myself to core . I keep asking Baba why he did this to me?
Anyway, This is how my Saibaba works.
Sometimes, he shows me dreams, make me react to it and in the end, I can’t even prove anyone that I behaved like this because of Sai. Who would trust me unless Sai helps me?
I felt good after talking to Pratiksha since she asked me to forget it. Yes. I will forget but Sai’s words are so powerful and I got dreams over and over again with the same message. I am almost out of mind due to this issue. I just have a small prayer to Sai.
I am getting old and must build a meaning in my life.
The impact I create through StarSai is not big enough. I can do much more than this rather than worrying about my personal life.
Let Saibaba guide me through dream to help me take clear decision. Let him also make me build something really good through which I can do good karma to millions of people.
Saibaba is like this. He makes me react too fast to his dream and now, I can’t come out of the painful embarrassement.
But Sai has always been there for me and my family.
Sai has taken care of us.
How can I ignore this saint who has done lot more good to me than the few issues I had to face due to his dreams?
I love Sai and this is our relationship. I have been with him birth after birth and he has all rights to put me in this trouble.
I believe, Sai himself will answer me soon
Venkat
