Sairam friends,
If Shirdi Saibaba wants to accept someone into his fold and bless him with spiritual growth, he keeps two exam.
1. Attachment towards wealth
Sai baba will purposely “Give” to devotees and see how their greed works. He will create opportunities in such a way that his devotees leave the good path and are ready to do any mischief in order to make money. Such exams are kept only for devotees who desire Sai’s presence forever because naturally many devotees don’t seek Sai’s treasure. We all need only materialistic treasures.
Once Saibaba will ask Tarkad to come to Dwarakamai at 11 o clock during night. Baba told him “Bhau, come to meet me at night after everyone left. I have a treasure for you.”
Tarkad went to see Baba. Baba told him, I will give you a very good treasure with which you can live happily all your life.
They both walked from Dwarakamai towards the water place. I think its a small stream. There were lots of bushes in that place. Sai went and sat in a place and asked Tarkad to clear the sand. After a while, Tarkad took out a big Golden bar which is enough to make him rich for lifetime and lead a luxurious life.
Baba smiled to Tarkad and asked him if he is satisfied.
Tarkad held Baba’s feet and told him “Baba, I don’t need all this. I just need your presence in my life and I am happy with that.”
Baba then blessed Tarkad and asked him to keep the golden bar back inside the sand and cover it. They both peacefully left to Dwarakamai.
I already wrote this story in StarSai.
2. Attachment towards Women:
Saibaba had a peculiar way to test the devotees who come to him. When ever Sai found a man being truthful and good, Sai tries to lift him one more step spiritually.
A widow in Sangamner village was humiliated by everyone. She got dejected and decided to go on a pilgrimage. She visited various temples and finally reached Shirdi. Sai saw her coming towards Dwarakamai and blessed her.
She realized Sai is a true aulia and decided to make Shirdi her home. Her original name was different but since had Radhe Krishna statue with her, Sai named her “Radhakrishnamai”.
Once, Rage came to see Baba in Dwarakamai. Baba then asked him to go to Shala * School. Baba refers to Radhakrishnamai’s hut as school. Rege went there and knocked the door but Radhekrishnamai did not allow him inside for reason’s unknown.
Rege went back to Dwarakamai and told Saibaba that she’s not opening the door. Baba said “Now go. The door will be open.”
Rege went again and this time when he knocked the door, Radhakrishnamai opened the door and fell in his feet. He was shocked and asked her not to fall in his feet as he’s also a ordinary devotee of Baba. Radhakrishmai then gave him little odd work to do like washing vessels, fetching water etc.
She’s very short tempered women. When any rich devotees is sent to her, she would say “You think that you are king? Just wash this soon.” Her words at times were very harsh but internally she’s very kind and affectionate.
Did you understood what Saibaba tried to do by sending devotees to Radhakrishnamai. Its simple. He wanted to test if they are attracted to her because seems she’s a beautiful lady. Any man who admires her beauty and has their limit is forgiven as its OK to admire a women. If a man never shows interest in her appearance and just does their work, they are immediately passed.
If a man tries to misbehave with her, they were guided by Saibaba in his own way. I never knew if all these happened but its my assumption because that’s how Sai works.
Now, In my life, when ever I suffered a lot in my past relationship, I think its Sai’s exam to me and I may or may not have passed his exam. I just know I have several Radhakrishnamai in my life one after another and I continue to fail. After all these years, I understood all scriptures speaks about the sins of lust and how it has ruined many lives.
Is falling in love with a girl so bad? I might like a girl for any reason and vice versa. It might be Sai’s test or my own karmic bond. As I always say, I had sinned to many women in my past several birth and in this birth, I am supposed to pay back.
I have paying back..paying back..paying back and its going on for years. Seems my huge load of Sins is yet to get burnt by Sai.
Now, I just ask Baba why he shows some girls in dream? Is it to test me that I might get attracted to them?
or even when I come across girls, is it just a way Sai wanted to test me and if so, how long his exam going to continue? Sai can test me for lifetime if he wishes.
All these incidents and humiliation I faced made me numb and I wish that I never grew up. I wish to go back to childhood so that I never have to answer the whole world why I am not married yet. Is there a report card that Sai can give me to show people “Look, I have done so much sins and I am yet to pass the exam.If I don’t pass then I will never get married for lifetime. So don’t worry about me. Its over.”
OK friends.Today, I wanted to write about this topic. Not sure what’s going to happen in my life.
As of now, I have failed to make my parents happy. This alone is truth.
I am working on my photography project and somehow manage to buy a new DSLR. As soon as I start it, eye is paining, shoulder is paining as if all this obstacles can stop me.
Venkat
