Sairam friends,
Apologies for not writing in StarSai regularly. The problem is, I am going through a stage in life where I am awake at night thinking about past and future. I actually wish to spend my time doing something productive but these days its more of “Not knowing what to do” kind of state.
Today, I took my parents to Virundheeswarar temple as they have done Kumbabishekam for the temple early this month. Then, I went to Nagasai mandhir and also went for a walk in Saibaba colony.
I have a deep gratitude for Nagasai Mandir in Coimbatore for I have been benefited my the temple for several years. I cannot forget the days I used to come around the holy Dhuni for over 3 hours during 2005. These days, I have to cross lots of traffic to actually reach this Saibaba temple every evening from my office but I still go there as it makes me feel good.
I never do any physical work in the temple as before. I simply go there, light lamps, have darshan of Sai and then relax.
My friends told me they are planning to do some social work like cleaning stuff in government schools and wanted me to do photography of the same. I said, I will be joining. Having said that, I spend my weekend for my parents. So not sure if I could manage to help them.
I like to always think about Sai and lead a simple life but life isn’t that simple. Seems I have to struggle a lot even for basic comforts in life.
Earlier, I thought my new office is too far. Now, I am able to reach there within 30 to 40 minutes. Oh yes. I forgot to say this.
On Friday evening, I was trying to see some Sai videos on my mobile. I was driving when I picked my mobile and trying to play a video of Saibaba. Suddenly, I felt the Bus infront of me had stopped. I don’t know if its reflex action or Sai took control of me. I immediately applied break inches before the bus.
For a moment, I could not understand what just happened. I turned to my right and saw a guy in 2 wheeler looking at all that happened and he was also in shock. I opened the window glass and told him with laughter “Did you see that?”
He also laughed.
As I reached my home, I felt Saibaba has always been with me even in small incidents and events in life. Sai has never been out. He is always inside me taking control of every single moment in my life.
When I told this to my Mom, she said, never to use mobile while driving.
Its going to be 12.30 at night.
I am remembering the girl Sai showed me in dream back in 2016/17 and 18. Now a days, I don’t see her in dream at all today I asked Saibaba what happened to his series of dreams? How is she doing now and what is the meaning of all his dreams?
I can only pray for her. Sometimes, its hard to forget this girl especially since I respect Sai’s dreams and wanted to know what Sai really tried to communicate to me.
I also worry a lot about my Career. Though I like my current job, I don’t know what future holds for me.
My nights are filled with worries, loneliness and not knowing what to do.
Love,
Venkat
