5 reasons why couples must live in harmony – StarSai Stay United

Sairam friends,

The past 10 days alone, I received so many mails from girls who are married before 2-3 years and are separated.

“I fought with my husband and now I am in my parents home”

“My husband doesn’t like me and …..”

“My husband listens only to his parents/siblings and doesn’t respect me”

Its not always wife who’s being hurt. Sometimes, Men suffer a lot due to his wife.  Lot of parents let the girl to live her live as she wishes once she gets married. In some families, they assume their daughter is going through a huge problem even if small issue happens and they sow the seed of hatred towards in laws in their daughters mind.

Some girls doesn’t really understand a Man doesn’t marry you to live alone with you and your aspirations. He too has parents to take care of. I had always supported girls in StarSai over the years but trust me, Some girls act too innocent and ruin peace of mind of their husband.

Anyway, in majority of cases, only the girl suffers in the end. Some times husband and wife have arguments in home even when their children are grown up as adults. It doesn’t teach anything good to your children. Please learn to live in harmony and spread love in the family.

I get really upset when ever I go through such mails and don’t feel like replying. The reason is that I can’t change much and only their devotion, patience and ability to tolerate and adjust hard times can bless them good life. Further, In relationship issues, Sai is not able to help much because everyone lives with their own desires, stubborn attitude and ego. So even when we pray so much to the extent that Sai’s heart melts for us, Sai is not able to convince the other person involved.

Shirdi Saibaba has helped millions of family to live in peace. We can’t ignore Sai’s grace was responsible for many Husband and wife leading a peaceful life today. When it comes to few who separate, the reasons could be different.

I won’t always say staying together is the right thing to do as your life and situation might have made you realize its better to keep away from the wrong person.

Kindly don’t write me your problem and ask me if you should stay united or separate. I don’t want to get into these issues. Meet your Sai directly. I don’t want to be a wall between Sai and you. I write this article only to help people in similar situations because basically everyone wants to Live in harmony.

I simply want to imagine 5 reasons why Couples must stay together

5 reasons why couples must stay together:

1. Matches are not made in heaven

They are actually made in Sivakasi where they manufacture match boxes. Jokes aside, Most people marry believing they are going to lead a very rocking happy life. They assume that marriage is going to be fun and that their life is will be smooth forever. For the first few days or month your marriage might seem to be glittering but life has its own ups and downs.

Getting married is fun but it doesn’t remain that way forever. Not Always. Some are blessed to never face any problems but few have to face problems and still remain strongly bonded in love.

Today, every one wants to be happy and doesn’t want to add any burdens to them. As soon as you loose little comfort in life, you tend to speak ill of your partner or their family. Better see situation from your partner’s perspective and see if you both can live in peace.

So matches are not made in heaven. They were and are made here. We all carry our own part of dirt in the form of desires, ego, status, habits, illusions and what not. So someone new in your life cannot tolerate all of us.  So accept problems as part of your “Heavenly” married life.

2.Both Sugar and spice are ingredients for a Happy married life

No body is perfect and your wife/husband is not going to be good to you every time you expect her/him to be.  If there’s happiness, there’s also sorrows. If there’s fun, there’s also difficulties to face. So accept it.

At times, your friends/relatives could cause a problem but most of the time its not others but yourself creating problems since you don’t understand each other clearly.

You must be able to develop unconditional love and trust on each other than no hardships, doubts, anger or ego can keep you apart.

 3. You got married to live for yourself. Not anyone else:

“Yourself” here means  both of you together.

One of the most normal reasons to separate or develop a misunderstanding between husband and wife is “Others”. You din’t marry for these “Others” who can either be your own parents, relatives, friends or any one else. You married for yourself and must not let down your husband/wife just because these so called “Others” had a problem with them.

There are times when your parents won’t like their Son in law/Daughter in law. It happens. Try to help them understand and if they are right, try to do little you can to help your partner change for good. But do not develop a misunderstanding with your husband/wife just because their parents doesn’t like you or respect you.

“In India, we seek more respect than we deserve.No one is going to treat you like a king/queen and you must accept others criticisms casually”

No one honestly respects anyone. They just have set of principles and if you fall in those principles, they naturally respect you.

4.  A good marriage leads to good changes in your thought process, habits and life style:

I had come across a man few years back who told me that he don’t like his wife because she don’t match his intelligence. I am sure, they must be women who think their husband doesn’t match their life style, education, professional standards, social status or any thing else.

Every one of us has a thought process – The way we think, believe, eat, sleep, behave and everything we do is based on our thought process. We actually think someone who marries us must understand us completely and accept us for what ever we do.

Marriages are not made for such complete acceptance. Some times, When your partner doesn’t accept what you do, try to explain him/her why you do it very softly and see if they need to change. If you think your Soul mate is right, try to change yourself for good.

When you marry, you have to change little bit of yourself to help your Soul mate feel comfortable. Just make sure, its honestly something “Good” which they expect from you or else make them clear about what’s right in life and what isn’t.

You can always learn something good from your husband/wife.

If your wife/husband helps her parents when they really need it, accept it because they have a responsibility to take care of everyone but make sure his/her parents don’t dominate you and your happiness must be in your hands.

5. Give up misunderstanding, Ego and attitude:

Human beings are not made in perfect squares and circles. At times, things doesn’t match at all being two different people. May be that’s why God created Man and Women and sprinkled a pot full of Maya over them to get attracted to each other. he he..

What really happens is that after  a while, you start loosing this bond between each other because you start to deeply analyze how bad your soul made is in few issues. Well. It happens. Why should people who fall in love, get married, live happily, have children and finally breakup?

Please take a fresh perspective of your husband/wife and speak clearly about what you expect from them. Not all expectations can be fulfilled which you must be able to cope up with. Try to discover the love between you.

Give up any misunderstandings, ego and attitude that could have spoiled your relationship.

“Try to show love to someone who really loves you. Life is too short to think about hatred”

So That’s it !

Did you notice, I never took the name of Sai in most part of the article? The reason is that we all have habit of living for our own selfishness. We get into a relationship for our own comfort no matter how much you say, you had asked for Sai’s permission before you committed.  We live to satisfy our own desires.

If everything goes well, we will show our teeth to Baba. If something goes wrong in our relationship, we start to blame baba.

What can Saibaba do if you choose the wrong person? If your partner is not good, Fine. Give up on the relationship but marriages are not about living happily alone. At times, you might have to cross the ocean of worldly life and stay together during such difficulties.

Sai wants you to Stay United and live in harmony

Sai wants you to give up all your worries, misunderstandings, anger and open up your heart to your soul mate

Sai wants you to live in peace

and that’s why Sai made his little servant write this article in beautiful Sunday !

I am not married yet and the reason, I could write this article is because I see life. I see so many lives. I listen to stories. I have listened to more love stories than all the Romantic novels you can ever read and the stories I read has life, tears and blood in it for these are real life stories of Sai devotees.

I am in a state where I get really fed up when someone writes me ….

“I am separated. I love a guy/girl and we can’t marry since parents don’t agree, I want to get back my love”

I can happily write about some Mantra to get back your love. I can ask you to visit few temples and worship Shirdi Saibaba.

I have asked hundreds of Sai devotees to Chant the holy name of Sai, Light lamps and read Sai Satcharitra.

Well. Will it all work.

It will but you too must change yourself.

See where your weakness is and see how you can change yourself for good.

Both husband and wife must learn to understand each other and live in peace.

I wish to write more in this series called “StarSai Stay United” and hope to see many people living in peace.

Sai is there to guide you and what I am doing is little I can to see some positive happenings in your beautiful married life.

Note – I don’t like any couples or people in relationship using this article to persuade others to change their mind because I don’t know your situation and what’s good for you.

Sai blessings !

Love,

Venkat

Little servant of Shirdi Saibaba

Edit:

After writing this article I went to Ganesha temple, Kamakshi Amma temple and Annapurna temple. I liked walking a lot this evening but was really sad about my life. I tried to chant holy name of “Sai Sai Sai” in mind. I wonder why I write these articles and who really gets benefited by this. I am not a marriage counselor to guide couples for better relationship.

I just care for good souls and want to do little I can through my words. I lit lamp to my sweet Annapurna. I like the smile of priest in Kamakshi temple and Annapurna temple. I love the fragrance of kumkum too. Its so divine. Then I went to Shirdi Saibaba temple during Aarti, distributed prasad of Dhuni baba and was standing in Dwarakamai.

One of my Sai friend told me that he had been to Gangapur in Maharastra and stayed there for a week. I told him, during Shirdi Saibaba’s life time there was no Sai Satcharitra to read. Sai used to ask his devotees to do parayan of Guru Charitra.

Saint Narasimha Saraswati is avatar of Lord Dattatreya like our Sai. He has done many miracles during his life time.

One of my biggest concern is many devotees who visit Shirdi today cannot see the Shirdi during Sai’s live time. Sai led a very simple life in Shirdi village. It had only 80 huts and today its so crowded.

Anyway, I request Sai devotees who are into relationship issues to read Guru Charitra about Saint Narasimha Saraswati and also Sai Satcharitra.

As I walked away from Saibaba temple, one of my friend called me “Venkatrama….Pray panniko” ( He has some problem) . I told him “Everything good will happen” and moved away. All through StarSai this is what I have tried to do to Sai’s children. My words should make you believe that “Everything good will happen in your life”

Tata friends

Venkat