Sairam friends,
How many times will I write that I wish to Chant Sai Sai Sai in mind? I have been chanting sincerely from 2005 onwards. I remember the days I spent in Mumbai when I used to chant all the way from my room in Borivali to the filmschool in Andheri East. I can easily chant more than 5000 to 10,000 times in a day. Now a days, I am easily getting distracted since I chat with my friends once in a while.
The past one week, 2-3 people asked me if I am sick. May be, since I am always thinking something and worried, it reflects on my face. Once in a while, I also try to have fun before I start from work. I do a cartoon and purposely tell everyone that my drawing is good and none appreciates me. I enjoy doing such stupid stuff and irritate people around. I wish to enjoy this place as much as I can because we won’t remain in the same building for long and we might expect lots of changes in the days ahead.
Thanks to my hairloss. I realized that I must take life seriously
I had done several mistakes all my life. I have never taken life seriously. I only have been gambling with my career and believed everything will happen at the right time. Many Sai devotees write me with worries about how they look. Even couple of days back, a girl wrote me that her boy friend left her as she’s not good looking. Doesn’t she think Sai has actually saved her from someone who don’t really have true love on her?
Some guys write me saying that are worried about their hair loss. I have come across many guys who get frustrated of their hair loss and try several cosmetics. Let me clarify this – Don’t try to change what naturally happens to you. Keep this as a principle. Few month back, one of this guy at work told me that I must have hair implantation. I told him, its OK. Let me be like this because atleast now I feel that I must not play around and take life seriously.
External appearance impacts how people perceive you. This helps you act little matured and careful.
I still don’t know to act matured like many guys I come across. May be, that doesn’t suit me.
(Occasionally, I receive mails from girls in some part of India if I am interested in marrying them. This is how we have humiliated our girls who are getting a bit late to marry that they feel someone like me would be a right match. I never reply such mails because I know they are just depressed about their life and gradually, they will come across a good guy. Do not judge anyone based on what they express online.
Being good on the internet is different from being good to you and your family. Isn’t it?
I planned to write about my hairloss for long time now to help these girls drop their disastrous idea..he he..Further, I live too far from most Sai children who write me.)
It was like I boarded a bus at night and its going on way to my college. I ask someone if this college has come but couldn’t identify the right stop to get down. I go past the college and get down the bus in the outskirts of the city. I was scared to be there in the darkness. Thankfully, I find a bus which must take me back to my college.
Repeatedly, Sai shows the college I had studied in dream.
Either it could mean, I must persue my Phd in Management or I must interact with someone there if I can guide students to make them more employable. I had previously received couple of request to take seminar in my field of interest. I asked them to give me sometime.
Its better to take some steps to react to Sai’s dreams.
Chanting Sai, Sai, Sai remembering someone’s heart
How I meditate?
I believe Chanting SAI SAI SAI is a kind of meditation. I have also got very good experiences while chanting continuously rememering all 5 Guru’s of Dattatreya lineage in 2008.
This is how I meditate
- Chant Sai’s holy name.
- Have a space – Space is someone’s heart or a divine place. It could be your Mother’s heart or a temple
- Your love towards Sai – You must honestly love Sai.
Last evening, I went to Shirdi Saibaba temple near by office. The crowd here is less and hence I find it more peaceful. From yesturday, I promised Saibaba that I will be chanting Sai Sai Sai continuously when ever I can. I mean, I will be at work – If I am calm, I chant in mind. If I speak to someone, I may not. This way, I can make sure, I am always connected with Sai.
This time, I have choosen this girls heart as the space to mediate.
I am curious about chanting remembering this girl’s heart as I can’t understand why Sai blessed me with several dreams on her for over 15-16 month now. I told Sai that he must clarify this to me or atleast help me tell everything to this girl someday. If I tell each and everyone of my dream to this girl and what I have gone through, I might be able to get some meaning. Now, I feel i am blinded by my own dreams. I have never been more embarrassed than any other issue all my life. So Saibaba has to clarify why all this happened. Why me? Why when Sai knows I live by his words?
I feel myself like a fool when ever I wonder why all this happened?
I believe this girl has a beautiful heart. If not, Sai would have not kept on hinting me about how good she is. I don’t have to speak to her. I don’t have to know her. If my Sai tells someone is good, I must keep thanking her for what She is.
Let me see how many days I can continue to chant remembering this girl’s heart as the space I meditate.
I get easily distracted and have small talks with my friends.
I am sure Sai will show me a way. Atleast he must say why I am supposed to go through all this. Atleast not in this age when I am already fed up with my life.
Sai blessings
too late for work
Tata
Venkat
