Sairam friends,
Its been less than a week since I came to U.S to meet my Sister and Niece.
I have gone through a lot over the years both in my personal life and my career.
I am trying to be happy but something keeps hurting me. I can’t say why I am hurt but its really humiliating. I just decided to remain silent. I decided to chant Sai’s holy name and often remembering Sai and the Goddess I love.
Even when I started from India, in my mind, I kept thinking that I should bring in some business for the place I work for. I never shared it to anyone and did not even bring a Business card with me.
Couple of days back, I had a dream in which Sai said name of a Senior women employee in my office. Its like, I see 12 other employees coming to U.S. I haven’t spoken much to this lady but as far as I have analyzed she’s the only one who has good amount of exposure abroad. It was like Sai telling me that I must try to arrange few business meetings and see how it goes. May be, If things goes positively, there will be opportunities for some of my colleagues to come here for requirement gathering etc.
My Sister also keeps saying that she can get me tickets if I need to go other big cities like New York for any business meetings.
Its funny that I do everything in my life based on Sai dreams. So how does such dreams appear? You must be thinking if I am for real?
Well, I can’t understand myself at times? I don’t know why I get dreams? I really don’t know what’s my relationship with Sai?
I just know Saibaba cares for me and if I desire to do something good for others or myself, he encourages me and guides me.
This morning, my Sister drove us to Wal-Mart to get School supplies for Kats. When I paid 96$ for the School supplies, my sister said that’s all the money they have to spend for kids for the whole year. I am deeply worried about Indian parents and children from middle class and lower middle class families who are looted by private schools.
Here in the U.S, public schools are funded by the Government and hence there’s no school fees at all. I am also happy with the education kids get here in public schools. I can’t understand why in India we should spend so much for kids education right from schooling? I dream of a Nation where middle class families in India have an option for affordable education with high quality.
Anyway, today, I became very silent and my parents kept asking me the reason. I wish to remain silent because of what I have gone through in the past. I have been injured deep in my heart and it can never be healed.
No matter where I go, my bad karma of past several births keeps haunting me.
I have to tolerate it because that’s all I can do.
I have no rights to question. I better remain silent Sai.
Aum Sai Ram
Venkat
