Sairam friends,
I usually pray a lot for myself when ever I go to any temples. This time, when I visited some of my favourite temples, I don’t know what to pray for myself? I honestly don’t understand my life and how Saibaba is working on it. I am clueless why Saibaba should show the girl at work in dream. I completely stopped thinking of her and even stopped asking Sai to answer me why it happened but I lost myself.
I lost myself.
I felt divine but blank. In every temple, I felt like asking Goddess to clarify me why Sai might have shown this girl in dream but I stopped myself. The more I think about this the more I loose my peace of mind. I just know that what ever happened is because of my own fault. I din’t think twice before writing to her. I must have kept everything to myself so that silently I could have tried to understand Sai dreams.
It hurts me even while I write about this issue. It hurts me because irrespective of the fact that I reacted to Sai dreams, I have this feeling that I let down my family values.
Why should I write to a girl who’s a stranger to me? What would she think of me? Why should my own Guru take me in such a path?
After all its nothing for others. Its over now.
I remember one thought that came across my mind in every temple.
Saibaba and any Goddess won’t answer me why I got those dreams.
It just happened and its over now.
I have to digest what ever happened because probably I am paying back for my past bad karma.
So it comes to an end. After almost 1.8 years of confusion, I have to come to terms with reality.
Even when Saibaba shows you few dreams, please don’t react to it. Be careful and ask few questions.
1.Is my behaviour in accordance with my family values.
2.Will my parents be happy about what I am doing?
3. Will this lead me to embarrassment and disaster?
That’s what happened to me. What ever I did took me into a path where I suffered mentally all these months.
Anyway, I am working on a promo film at work and had to shoot some footage. Earlier, I used to enjoy this but now I feel that I am disturbing everyone. Somehow, I need footage for a 2 minute film. So I have to film as much as I can quickly. These people in my organization have an American Express credit card which any vendor on planet Earth doesn’t accept. So in January, I had to use my own money for purchasing footage. I hope atleast this time, they give me an alternative.
My mind is occupied with getting leave for U.S trip to meet my Sister’s Daughter. My friend said he will himself speak on my behalf today. Please pray that Visa process too goes well. I want to get out of this place atleast for a change.
Sai blessings
Venkat
Write to me
starsai27@gmail.com
I wrote this article since many Sai children are into bad relationship. They are simply emotionally connected with someone they like. I want them to think in their parents perspective if their relationship is acceptable? You don’t have to make your parents proud. Atleast don’t let them down. Cut off any relationship that’s not acceptable in the society. Be clear about whom you talk to and what you speak. Never do anything that you would regret rest of your life.
