Sairam friends,
I write this with heavy heart. I was happy at work as I have lots of plans. In the evening, I suddenly got some fear deep in me. I reached Saibaba temple and lit 3 lamps. I felt like asking Saibaba and checked if Saibaba answers online will help me. I got the below message.
Your service is great but people will take you wrongly
I don’t believe much in Sai answers stuff etc as I request devotees not to use Saibaba Speaks often as its just a small way of diverting mind. When I saw the above message, my heart felt like I did something terribly wrong. I tried to be normal and came around holy Dhuni of Saibaba for few minutes. I have this habit of staring at Dhuni for long. So I was looking into dhuni for few minutes. I was worried about something.
I felt really painful. My friend came and we spoke few minutes sitting in the parking space where people wash legs. I feel comfortable sitting here as I can speak without disturbing anyone. At times, I sit inside the flower shop and speak to those guys. This is my little world outside workplace. I may not always be happy in Saibaba temple but I feel free and relaxed. I never go to any other Shirdi Saibaba temple in Coimbatore accept Nagasai Mandir especially because, when I had nothing, my whole universe was the time I spent in this temple.
Today, I continue to feel I have nothing.
I came home and got more upset as my Father was not well. I shouted at him for going out in rain and getting sick. There are few people whom you can shout to show that you care and I do it often with my Ma and Pa. I came online, took the medicines and searched for its side effects etc to give him the right one.
I am writing this for 2 reasons
- I don’t call what I do through StarSai as service to Sai. I also don’t want to call any other good deed I do as a service. The term “Service” doesn’t work for me.
- Even when I do good, there are many occasions when people get me wrong and I have accepted it though it hurts me.
The past few days, I was reading a lot about how other writers are earning through their blog. Some had written they made 16,000$…Some say they made this much/that much etc. Many people write me saying your blog is good. Yes.Its a blog but I wish that StarSai should be seen as a Temple of Humanity.
I would have placed some ads or done something commercial to show what big money I earn every month. May be, I am a fool who don’t know to survive. That’s OK for me. I personally believe in what Saibaba said.
“Everyone come to me for what they want but none accepts what I have to give them. The blessed son of a true Mother will dig cart loads of spiritual wealth from me”
I may not have made money but I have earned what Saibaba wants me to earn. I have earned “Sai” and he’s my only wealth.
I am really upset with the way my life is going.
Few days back I wrote this article which explains What I do in StarSai?
Sai alone must show me a way.
Venkat
Om sai ram….
Leaving off all cleverness and remembering Sai ……..is also a very beautiful saying giving peace to our restless souls.
Om Sai Ram,
Its very true that ur good deed are not always taken in the right sense.
I have learnt something today. the help that u offer without ppl asking for it will not have any great value…though this is not applicable in all cases, it is definitely applicable in profession and relatives.
Let Sai guide me through the right path!
Feeling embarassed and depressed now…but things will change with Sais grace!
Hi Venkat,
Just read this post of yours and travelled back my memory lane…… There was a time when for almost any question I used to get the same answer that your service is great but people take you wrongly…… I used to keep questioning him as to what he is doing to help me come out of it…. I literally pleaded him to give me strength to keep me strong even when people take me otherwise as that was the only way I could continue doing great service and yes he did help me get that positive attitude and strength to stay composed even when things did not go right and he took me in his lap and helped me sail through smoothly…..
Trust me all that you have been doing by spreading so much positivity will reap fruits one day….. Patience pays price….. I learnt that with the hardships of life….. Shraddha is one thing we all have but Saburi is the one thing which all of us need to have ….Youare the chosen one…… He chose you for the benefit of others…. He won’t let you down…… In kalyug there are very few blessed souls like you who can still understand what God wants each of us to understand…… You will be filled with abundance soon…… It’s just a test of time……